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The emperor's altars and grains are all large sacrifices, while the altars and grains of the princes are all small sacrifices. The sacrifices of the officials and scholars to the ancestral temples are offered if they have land, and offered if they do not have land. The common people offer leeks in spring, wheat in summer, millet in autumn, and rice in winter. Leeks are offered with eggs, wheat with fish, millet with pigs, and rice with geese. The cattle used to offer sacrifices to heaven and earth have cocoons and chestnuts in their horns; the cattle used to offer sacrifices to the ancestral temples have horns with handles; the cattle used to offer sacrifices to guests have horns with rulers. The princes shall not kill cattle without reason, the great officials shall not kill sheep without reason, the scholars shall not kill dogs and pigs without reason, and the common people shall not eat delicacies without reason. The common people shall not eat more delicacies than animals, the clothes for banquets shall not exceed the clothes for offering sacrifices, and the sleeping places shall not exceed the temples.
When a girl is betrothed, she is given a tassel; unless there is a serious reason, she will not enter the bride's house. When aunts, sisters, and daughters return home after getting married, brothers should not sit at the same table with them, nor eat from the same utensils with them. Father and son sit at different tables.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Yu Zhigong was the governor of Jingzhou, he presented a feather fan to Emperor Wu. Emperor Wu suspected that it was an old item. Liu Shao, the imperial attendant, said: "When the cypress beams and clouds are constructed, the craftsmen are first placed under them; when the pipes and strings are playing, the bells and Kui are the first to hear the sounds. Zhigong presented the fan because it was good, not new." Empress Yu heard this and said: "This person should be by the emperor's side."
Emperor Ming asked Zhou Boren: "How do you think you compare to Xi Jian?" Zhou said: "Jian is a good minister, if he has the ability." He asked Xi again. Xi said: "Zhou Xi is comparable to me, and has the style of a great scholar."
The two sons of Yang Huai, the governor of Jizhou, Qiao and Mao, were both born with the intention of becoming talented people. Huai was friendly with Pei Wei and Yue Guang, so he sent people to meet them. Huai was generous and open-minded. He loved Qiao's high rhyme and said to Huai, "Qiao is as good as you, but Mao is a little inferior." Guang was pure and honest. He loved Mao's prudent mind and said to Huai, "Qiao is as good as you, but Mao is even more outstanding." Huai laughed and said, "The superiority and inferiority of my two sons is the superiority and inferiority of Pei and Le." Commentators commented that although Qiao had high rhyme, he was not prudent enough; while Le's words were appropriate. However, they are both outstanding talents that came later.
Jianwen and Xu Xuandu shared the same words, Xu Yun: "It is difficult to raise the king and relatives."
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