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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
People say: "Gou Zi is outstanding, while Ah Xing is peaceful and harmonious."
Fu Qian was already well versed in the Spring and Autumn Annals and was about to write a note on it, wanting to refer to similarities and differences. He heard that Cui Lie had gathered his disciples to lecture on the Spring and Autumn Annals, so he hid his name and was hired out to Lie's disciples to work for a living. Whenever he was talking, he would eavesdrop on what was happening behind the door. Knowing that no one can surpass myself, I discuss my strengths and weaknesses with other students. Lie Wen was surprised and didn't know who he was, but he had heard of Qian's name and was suspicious of him. He went there early in the morning, and before he woke up, he called out, "Zi Shen! Zi Shen!" Qian was startled and responded, and they then became friends.
Mrs. Xi, the wife of Wang Youjun, said to her two younger brothers, Sikong and Zhonglang, "When the Wang family saw the two Xies, they were very happy; but when they saw you, they were indifferent. You don't need to bother to go again."
The way of heaven is the highest teaching, and the sage is the highest virtue. Above the temple hall, the Lei Zun is in the east, and the Xi Zun is in the west. Below the temple hall, the Xian Gu is in the west, and the Ying Gu is in the east. The king is in the east, and the lady is in the room. The sun is born in the east, and the moon is born in the west. This is the division of yin and yang, and the position of husband and wife. The king drinks from the Xi Xiang in the west, and the lady drinks from the Lei Zun in the east. The interaction of rituals moves above, and the interaction of music responds to below, which is the ultimate harmony. Rituals are to reflect what they are born from; music is to enjoy what they are made from. Therefore, the ancient kings established rituals to regulate affairs and cultivate music to guide their will. Therefore, by observing their rituals and music, we can know whether they are in order or not. Qu Boyu said: "A gentleman is a man of great ability, so by observing his utensils, we can know his skill; by observing his hair, we can know his wisdom." Therefore, it is said: "A gentleman is careful about what he gives to others."
During the funeral of Confucius, Gong Xichi wrote a memorial: decorating the coffin and the wall, setting up the bamboo and the shawl, which was Zhou; setting up the Chong, which was Yin; setting up the silk and the flag, which was Xia.
When Cai Situ was in Luoyang, he saw that Lu Ji and his brothers lived in the three-room tiled house of the Assistant Director General. Shilong lived in the east end and Shiheng lived in the west end. Shilong is a gentle and cute person. Shi Heng was over seven feet tall, his voice was like a bell, and his words were often generous.
When Wei Si Tu Jingzi died, Zixia offered condolences. The host had not yet buried him, so he went there in mourning clothes. Ziyou went to mourn. After the host had buried him, Ziyou came out, wearing mourning clothes and crying. Zixia asked, "Did you hear that?" He said, "I heard from you, Master, that if the host has not changed his clothes, he should not wear mourning clothes." Zengzi said, "Yanzi can be said to know etiquette, and he is respectful." Youruo said, "Yanzi wore the same fox fur coat for thirty years, and sent one carriage to the tomb and returned; the king had seven carriages, and the ministers had five carriages. How could Yanzi know etiquette?" Zengzi said, "If a country is not governed by the Way, a gentleman will be ashamed to be full of etiquette. If the state is extravagant, then show it frugality; if the state is frugal, then show it etiquette.
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