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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When a relative dies, the chickens and the chickens go barefoot, hold the upper hem, and cry with their hands. The heart of pity and the intention of pain and illness hurt the kidneys, dry the liver and burn the lungs. Water and liquid cannot enter the mouth. No fire is lit for three days, so the neighbors make porridge for him to eat and drink. The grief is in the heart, so the body changes on the outside. The pain and illness are in the heart, so the mouth does not taste good and the body is not comfortable.
When Zhou Chu was young, he was fierce and chivalrous, and was feared by his fellow villagers. There was also a dragon in the water of Yixing and a tiger in the mountains. They both violently attacked the common people. The people of Yixing called them the Three Horizons and treated them particularly badly. Some say that he killed the tiger and slashed the dragon, but in fact he hoped that only one of the three would remain. He would stab a tiger to death wherever he went, and then go into the water to kill a dragon. The dragon would sometimes float up and sometimes sink, and he would travel for dozens of miles, staying with it wherever it went. After three days and three nights, everyone in the village believed that the dragon was dead, and they celebrated together. They finally killed the dragon and got out. When I heard the villagers celebrating, I realized that I was suffering from the ills of human nature and I decided to change myself. He went from Wu to look for the two Lu brothers, but Pingyuan was not there. He met Qinghe and told him the whole situation, saying, "I want to change myself, but I have wasted years and will never achieve anything." Qinghe said, "The ancients valued hearing their achievements in the morning rather than dying in the evening. Besides, you still have a good future. Besides, people worry about not having their ambitions established, so why worry about not having a good reputation?" Chu then changed himself and eventually became a loyal minister and a filial son.
The one who is most benevolent has the most heavy mourning; therefore, for a father, he should wear mourning clothes for three years, which is a rule of benevolence. In the governance of the family, grace covers righteousness; in the governance of the family, righteousness cuts off grace. From serving the father to serving the king, and respecting the same, respecting the noble and respecting the elder, this is the greatest righteousness. Therefore, for a king, he should also wear mourning clothes for three years, which is a rule of righteousness.
When Wang Dun first married the princess, he went to the toilet and saw a lacquer box filled with dried dates. He originally wanted to use them to plug his nose, but the princess thought that there were also fruits on the toilet, so he ate all of them. After returning, the maid held up a golden bath tray filled with water and a glass bowl filled with bath beans. She then poured chopsticks into the water and drank from it, calling it dry rice. All the maids covered their mouths and laughed.
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