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When Guo Zhaozi's mother died, he asked Zi Zhang, "At the funeral and tomb, what positions should men and women take?" Zi Zhang said, "At the funeral of Si Tu Jingzi, Confucius was the prime minister, and men faced west and women faced east." He said, "Ah! No." He said, "At my funeral, Si was involved. You are responsible for it, the guests are guests, the host is the host--women and men all face west."
The villagers, scholars, and gentlemen are respected between the houses, and the host and the guest share it. The cup contains dark wine, and its quality is valued. Shame comes out of the east room, and the host and the guest share it. The host should wash in the east, so that he can clean himself and serve the guests.
Ritual: In the mourning of mourning with mourning clothes, one should only speak but not answer; in the mourning of mourning with mourning clothes, one should answer but not speak; in the mourning of great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in the mourning of small merit, one should discuss but not play music.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
When Zhang Hua saw Chu Tao, he said to Lu Pingyuan: "Your brothers are like dragons leaping through the clouds, and Gu Yanxian is like a phoenix singing in the morning sun. I thought the treasures of the southeast were gone, but I didn't expect to see Chu Sheng again." Lu said: "You have never seen anyone who doesn't sing or leap!"
Grand Tutor Xie asked his sons and nephews, "Why do you want to make them good when you are involved in other people's affairs?" No one said anything. The charioteer answered, "It's like wanting orchids and jade trees to grow in the courtyard."
"Confucians praise their relatives without avoiding relatives, and promote their relatives without avoiding enemies. They accumulate merits and deeds, promote the virtuous and promote them, and do not expect rewards. The king gets his will and does not seek wealth and honor as long as it benefits the country. They can promote the virtuous and support them like this.
The father and son of Yin Taichang of Jiangzuo were both able to reason, but they also had differences in their eloquence and taciturnity. When Yangzhou talked a lot, Taichang would say, "You should think more about my argument."
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