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"Confucian scholars are approachable but not robbed; they can be approached but not forced; they can be killed but not humiliated. Their residence is not lewd, and their food is not humid; their mistakes can be slightly identified but not counted. There are such people who are resolute. Confucians have loyalty and trustworthiness as armor, propriety and righteousness as oars; they act with benevolence and live with righteousness. Even if there is a tyranny, they will not change their position. They are like this in their self-reliance.
Zengzi said: "At the grave of a friend, there is old grass, but no one should cry."
Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
No one can escape the funeral procession unless they follow the coffin and cry. In all funerals, from minor to major, no bathing is allowed unless there are auspicious signs such as the mourning clothes and the funeral rites. In the case of a funeral of a young man, after the burial, if someone asks to see the deceased, then he can see the deceased; but if no one asks to see the deceased, then he can see the deceased. In the case of a minor funeral, then he can see the deceased if he asks to see the deceased. In the case of a major funeral, then he does not need to hold the coffin. Only in the case of a parent’s funeral, one does not need to weep and see the deceased. In the case of a three-year funeral, auspicious signs are followed; in the case of a full-term funeral, one cries and follows the deceased’s funeral; in the case of a nine-month funeral, after the burial, one follows the deceased’s funeral; in the case of a minor funeral, after the funeral, one follows the deceased’s funeral. Zeng Shen asked Zeng Zi, “Is there a fixed sound for crying parents?” Zeng Zi replied, “A baby lost its mother on the way, so what fixed sound is there?” ”
Yuzhang prefect Gu Shao was Yong’s son. When Shao died in the county, Yong Sheng gathered his subordinates and played Go by himself. A letter from outside arrived, but there was no letter from the child. Although his expression remained unchanged, he understood the reason. He pinched his palm with his claws and blood stained the mattress. After the guests had left, Fang sighed and said, "I am no longer as high as Yanling, so how can I be held responsible for losing my sight?" Then he let go of his sorrow and looked calm.
Therefore, when a man is born, he uses a mulberry bow and a straw arrow to shoot at the four directions of heaven and earth. The four directions of heaven and earth are what a man should do. Therefore, he must first have aspirations for what he should do, and then dare to use grain. This is what it means to eat.
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