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The one who makes an adult will be required to perform the etiquette of adulthood. The one who requires the etiquette of adulthood will be required to perform the etiquette of being a son, a younger brother, a minister, and a younger person. If the four behaviors are performed on people, can the etiquette not be important?
When Huan Xuan was about to usurp the throne, he said to Bian Ju: "In the past, Yang Zidao always forbade me from doing this. Now that I have lost my confidant Yang Fu and my henchmen Suo Yuan, I have hastily made such slanders. How can this be in line with the will of Heaven?"
Han Kang's aunt Yin followed Sun Huizhi to Hengyang and met Huan Nanjun in Heluzhou. Bian Ju was his grandson and came to inquire about his life from time to time. He said to Ju: "If I don't die, I will see this guy become a thief for the second time!" After several years in Hengyang, Huizhi encountered the disaster of Huan Jingzhen. Yin stroked his corpse and cried, "Your father was dismissed from Yuzhang, and the conscription letter was sent out in the morning and evening. You left the county for several years, and you were unable to move because of things, and then you were caught in the disaster. What else can I say?"
When Zuo Taichong first completed his "San Du Fu", people at that time ridiculed him and he was not satisfied. Later showed it to Mr. Zhang. Zhang said, "These two capitals can be three, but your literary talent is not well-respected in the world, so it is better to find a scholar with high reputation." Si then consulted Huangfu Mi. Mi sighed when he saw it, and then wrote a preface for it. As a result, all those who were not disloyal to the previous prime minister bowed their heads and praised him.
When the meal is finished, the guest kneels in front and finishes the meal and gives it to the prime minister. The host stands up and says goodbye to the guest, and then the guest sits down. When serving drinks to elders, one must stand up when the wine is served and bow to receive it. The elder said goodbye, and the younger one returned to the table and drank. The elders raised the wine but it was not brewed yet, and the younger ones dared not drink. When elders give gifts, the young and the humble dare not refuse. When fruit is given to the king, those who have seeds should keep the seeds in their pockets. When I serve food to the king, and the king gives me other things, the parts of the vessels that are used to irrigate them do not need to be written, but the rest should be written.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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