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He Cidao went to the Prime Minister's place. The Prime Minister pointed at the seat with his whisk and called He to sit with him, saying, "Come! Come! This is your seat."
Xie Hun asked Yang Fu, "Why do you hold the coral chain in a vessel?" Yang Fu said, "It should be used as a vessel to receive the gods."
Wei Junchang was the chief secretary of Duke Wen, and Duke Wen liked him very much. They would always bring wine and dried meat to Wei, and sit cross-legged facing each other all day long. When Wei went to Wen and Xu, it was the same.
Xie Jingzhong's daughter married Wang Xiaobo'er, and the two men loved each other very much. Xie was appointed as Chief Clerk of the Grand Tutor, but was dismissed. The king then appointed him as Chief Clerk and gave him charge of Jinling County. The Grand Tutor had already framed Xiaobo and did not want him to have a chance to apologize, so he sent him back to be his advisor. Outwardly it appears to be in a state of tension, but in reality it is in a state of disarray. After Xiao Bo was defeated, the Grand Tutor went around the East Palace City and dispersed. His subordinates all stood at the South Gate to wait for him and pay him respects. At that time, he said to Xie: "Wang Ning has a conspiracy, and it is said that you are his plan." Xie Zeng showed no fear, and replied with his hu tablets: "Le Yanfu once said: 'Why would you exchange five sons for one daughter?'" The Grand Tutor liked his answer, so he raised his glass to persuade him, saying: "So you are better! So you are better!"
When Wang Anqi was the governor of Donghai County, a minor official stole fish from a pond, and the emperor punished him for it. The king said, "King Wen's game park is shared with all the people. Why should I care about the fish in the pond?"
Confucian scholars are entrusted with money and drowned in pleasure. They do not lose their righteousness when they see profit; they are robbed by people and discouraged by soldiers. They do not change their principles when they see death; they are like prey and insects, not brave, and they do not consider their strength when they pull heavy tripods; they do not regret the past and do not worry about the future; they do not repeat their mistakes and do not spread rumors; they do not break their power and do not practice their plans. There are such people who are unique.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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