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Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
When Kong Junping was seriously ill, Yu Sikong was sent to Kuaiji to visit him. He asked him about his condition and even shed tears. After Yu got off the bed, Kong said with a sigh: "A real man is about to die, but instead of asking about the way to keep the country and the family safe, he pretends to be a child and asks!" When Yu heard this, he thanked him and asked him to talk.
Bian Wenli lost his composure when meeting Yuan Fenggao. Feng Gao said, "When Emperor Yao invited Xu You, he showed no shame. Why are you wearing your clothes upside down?" Wen Li replied, "Your Excellency has just arrived, and Emperor Yao's virtue is not yet well known, so the lowly people are wearing their clothes upside down."
Huan Xuanwu once invited his assistants to stay overnight. Yuan Hong and Fu Tao arrived one after another and stayed in the government office. There was also assistant general Yuan. Yanbo was suspicious and ordered him to preach and question him. The missionary said: "The military commander is Yuan Shikai, Yuan Shikai, what else is there to doubt?"
Duke Dao's mother died, and Duke Ai wore mourning clothes. Youruo said, "Is it proper to wear mourning clothes for a concubine?" The Duke said, "How can I do this? The people of Lu married me." Ji Zigao buried his wife and broke into other people's crops. He reported to the emperor, "Please give me a Geng." Zigao said, "Mengshi did not blame me for this, and my friends did not abandon me for this. They thought I was the head of the town. If I buy a way to bury the deceased, it will be difficult for the future to succeed me." For those who have not yet received official salary: if the king gives them gifts, they call them offerings, and if they send them to the king, they call them the widowed king; if they disobey the king and the king dies, they will not mourn for him. The corpse is set up with a few mats. When the crying is over, the taboo is used. When the living affairs are over, the ghost affairs begin to end. When the crying is over, the prime minister holds a wooden bell and orders the palace, "Abandon the old and avoid the new." From the bedroom door to the warehouse door. Two names are not tabooed. The mother of the master is named Zhengzai; if it is Zai, it is not Zheng, and if it is Zheng, it is not Zai. When the army is worried, they cry outside the warehouse door in plain clothes, and do not carry a bag when they go to the carriage. If the room of their ancestors is burned, they cry for three days. Therefore, it is said: "When a new palace is on fire, one should also cry for three days."
The way of heaven is the highest teaching, and the sage is the highest virtue. Above the temple hall, the Lei Zun is in the east, and the Xi Zun is in the west. Below the temple hall, the Xian Gu is in the west, and the Ying Gu is in the east. The king is in the east, and the lady is in the room. The sun is born in the east, and the moon is born in the west. This is the division of yin and yang, and the position of husband and wife. The king drinks from the Xi Xiang in the west, and the lady drinks from the Lei Zun in the east. The interaction of rituals moves above, and the interaction of music responds to below, which is the ultimate harmony. Rituals are to reflect what they are born from; music is to enjoy what they are made from. Therefore, the ancient kings established rituals to regulate affairs and cultivate music to guide their will. Therefore, by observing their rituals and music, we can know whether they are in order or not. Qu Boyu said: "A gentleman is a man of great ability, so by observing his utensils, we can know his skill; by observing his hair, we can know his wisdom." Therefore, it is said: "A gentleman is careful about what he gives to others."
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