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When Grand Marshal Huan came down to the capital, he asked Zhenzhang, "I heard that the King of Kuaiji said that you are very advanced. Is that you?" Liu said, "You are very advanced, so you are the second-rate people!" Huan asked, "Who are the first-rate people?" Liu said, "It's us!"
When a girl is betrothed, she is given a tassel; unless there is a serious reason, she will not enter the bride's house. When aunts, sisters, and daughters return home after getting married, brothers should not sit at the same table with them, nor eat from the same utensils with them. Father and son sit at different tables.
Wang Dao and Wen Qiao both met Emperor Ming, and the emperor asked Wen how he had gained the empire in his previous life. Wen did not answer. After a while, the king said, "Wen Qiao is young and inexperienced, so I will explain it to Your Majesty." The king then narrated in detail how King Xuan started his career, executed the barbarians and famous tribes, and favored those who were like him. At the end of King Wen's reign, Gaogui was in charge of public affairs. When Emperor Ming heard this, he fell to the bed and said, "If what you said is true, how can my reign last long?"
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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