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Confucians have the same aspirations and the same principles. They are happy to be together and never get tired of each other. They do not believe rumors when they have not seen each other for a long time. They act according to their principles and establish righteousness. They advance when they are together and retreat when they are different. This is their friendship.
Zi Zhang asked: "The Book of Documents says: 'Emperor Gaozong did not speak for three years, and he was happy when he spoke.' Is it true?" Zhongni said: "Why is it not true? In ancient times, when the emperor died, the crown prince listened to the prime minister for three years."
After Ren Kai lost his power, he no longer disciplined himself. Someone asked He Qiao, "Why did you sit by and watch Yuan Pei fail without helping?" He said, "Yuan Pei is like Beixia Gate, which is about to fall apart. It cannot be supported by a single piece of wood."
When Wei Si Tu Jingzi died, Zixia offered condolences. The host had not yet buried him, so he went there in mourning clothes. Ziyou went to mourn. After the host had buried him, Ziyou came out, wearing mourning clothes and crying. Zixia asked, "Did you hear that?" He said, "I heard from you, Master, that if the host has not changed his clothes, he should not wear mourning clothes." Zengzi said, "Yanzi can be said to know etiquette, and he is respectful." Youruo said, "Yanzi wore the same fox fur coat for thirty years, and sent one carriage to the tomb and returned; the king had seven carriages, and the ministers had five carriages. How could Yanzi know etiquette?" Zengzi said, "If a country is not governed by the Way, a gentleman will be ashamed to be full of etiquette. If the state is extravagant, then show it frugality; if the state is frugal, then show it etiquette.
Wang Ziyou left the capital and was still at the foot of the islet. I had heard before that Huan Ziye was good at playing the flute, but we didn't know each other. The king met Huan passing by on the shore while he was in the boat. A passenger who recognized him said, "This is Huan Ziye." The king then sent someone to tell him, "I heard that you are good at playing the flute. Please try to play it for me." Huan was already noble and prominent at that time. He had always heard of the king's name, so he got off the car, sat on a Hu bed, and played three tunes for him. After finishing, he got in the car. The host and the guest did not exchange a single word.
When Pan Yangzhong saw Wang Dun as a child, he said to him, "Your bee eyes have been revealed, but your jackal cry has not yet been heard. You will surely be able to eat people, and you will also be eaten by people.
You won’t feel full if you eat together, and you won’t get your hands wet if you eat together. Do not knead the rice, do not let the rice fall, do not drink it out of the water, do not chew the food, do not gnaw the bones, do not eat fish or meat, and do not throw bones to dogs. Do not hold on to what you have gained, and do not show off your food. Do not use chopsticks to eat rice and millet. Do not spit on the soup, do not make the soup gurgling, do not prick your teeth, and do not swallow fishy food. The guest was eating soup, but the host could not accept it. The guest drank the meat, and the host declined. Moist meat is chewy, but dry meat is not chewy. Do not suck or roast.
Sacrificial rules: The Yu clan sacrificed to the Yellow Emperor and offered sacrifices to Ku in the suburbs, and their ancestors were Zhuanxu and Yao. The Xiahou clan also sacrificed to the Yellow Emperor and offered sacrifices to Gun in the suburbs, and their ancestors were Zhuanxu and Yu. The Yin people sacrificed to Ku and offered sacrifices to Ming in the suburbs, and their ancestors were Qi and Tang. The Zhou people sacrificed to Ku and offered sacrifices to Ji in the suburbs, and their ancestors were King Wen and King Wu.
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