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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
During the death of Duke Kao of Zhulou, Lord Xu sent Rongju to offer condolences to Han, saying: "My lord sent Rongju to sit with Han and present the Marquis' jade. He sent Rongju to Han." The officials said: "The princes who come to humiliate my city are easy to easy and easy to be mixed. There has never been one who is easy to be mixed." Rongju replied: "Rongju heard that serving the lord should not forget his lord, nor should he forget his ancestors. In the past, my ancestor King Ju went west to fight and crossed the river, and he did not follow this saying. Rongju, a Lu man, dare not forget his ancestors."
When Wang Pingzi was fourteen or fifteen years old, he saw that Wang Yifu's wife, Guo, was greedy and asked her maid to collect dung on the road. Pingzi advised him against it, but he said it was not possible. Guo was furious and said to Pingzi, "When the lady was dying, she entrusted the young man to her new wife, not the new wife to the young man!" He quickly grabbed the hem of his clothes and was about to hit him with a stick. Pingzi struggled hard and managed to break free, then escaped through the window.
When Xi Jiabin died, his wife's brothers wanted to bring their sister back, but she refused to come. He said: "Even if I cannot live in the same room with Xi Lang, I would rather not be buried in the same grave with him after death!"
A good singer makes people follow his voice; a good teacher makes people follow his will. His words are concise but clear, subtle but good, and rarely use metaphors, which can be called continuing his will.
Zengzi went to Fuxia to pay tribute to his ancestors. After the host filled the pond, he pushed the coffin back and brought it back. He brought down the women and then performed the rituals. The attendant asked, "Is it the etiquette?" Zengzi said, "The ancestor is Qie; Qie, why can't he stay overnight?" The attendant asked Ziyou again, "Is it the etiquette?" Ziyou said, "Eat under the window, bury the dead in a small way inside the door, bury the dead in a big way on the east side, and hold the funeral in the guest seat. The funeral is held in the courtyard and buried in the tomb. This is how it is far away. Therefore, funerals have progress but no retreat." Zengzi heard this and said, "It's too much. I'm the one who left the ancestor." Zengzi wore a fur coat to pay his respects, and Ziyou wore a fur coat to pay his respects. Zengzi pointed at Ziyou and showed him, "Fuck, you are a man who is accustomed to etiquette, how can you wear a fur coat to pay your respects?" The host had folded his hair in a small way, bared his clothes, and tied his hair; Ziyou hurried out and came back wearing a fur coat and a sash. Zengzi said, "I went too far, I went too far, this is it."
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