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Confucius said, "Rituals are what the people in the streets indulge in. They make the differences between the people and make them have no suspicion. They serve as rules for the people." Therefore, men and women do not have intercourse without a matchmaker, and do not meet without money, fearing that there will be no difference between men and women. With this, the people in the streets still offer themselves. The Book of Songs says, "How can you cut wood? Without an axe, you cannot do it; how can you marry? Without a matchmaker, you cannot get it; how can you plant hemp? You follow her across the field; how can you marry a wife? You must tell her parents." Confucius said, "Do not marry a wife with the same surname, so as to distinguish them." Therefore, if you do not know the surname of a concubine when buying one, you should consult a fortune teller. Because of this people, the Spring and Autumn Annals of Lu still removed the surname of the lady and called her Wu, and her death was called Mengzi's death. Confucius said: "In the ritual, men and women do not exchange titles except for sacrifices." Because of this people, Yang Hou still killed Mu Hou and stole his wife. Therefore, the ritual of the lady was abolished at the grand feast. Confucius said: "If you don't see the son of a widow, you will not be friends with her. The gentleman keeps a distance from her." Therefore, when making friends, if the host is not at home, you will not enter her house unless there is a major reason. Because of this people, the people still value beauty more than virtue. Confucius said: "Love virtue is like love beauty." The princes did not go below the temptation of beauty. Therefore, the gentleman kept a distance from beauty as a rule for the people. Therefore, men and women do not touch each other. When you touch a woman, you should offer your left hand. If the daughter of a aunt, sister or daughter returns after marriage, men should not sit at the same table with her. A widow should not cry at night. If a woman is sick, you should not ask about her illness. Because of this people, the people are still licentious and chaotic in the clan. Confucius said: "At a wedding, the groom personally welcomes the bride and greets the uncle and aunt. The uncle and aunt pass the bride to the groom, fearing that the matter will go wrong." Because of this, some women still do not attend.
The Master said, “If you are good, praise others, and praise yourself when you are wrong, then the people will not argue; if you are good, praise others, and praise yourself when you are wrong, then resentment will disappear.” The Book of Songs says, “You should divine and divinate, and walk without fault.” The Master said, “If you are good, praise others, and praise yourself when you are wrong, then the people will yield to the good.” The Book of Songs says, “The king was examined and divined, and the capital of Hao was measured; only the tortoise shells corrected it, and King Wu succeeded.” The Master said, “If you are good, praise the king, and praise yourself when you are wrong, then the people will be loyal.” The King’s Statement says, “If you have good plans and good plans, report them to your king in the inner room, and you will follow them outside, saying, ‘These plans and plans are the virtue of my king. How great! This is truly good and obvious.” The Master said, “If you are good, praise your relatives, and praise yourself when you are wrong, then the people will be filial. "The Great Oath" says: "I defeated King Zhou, not because of my military power, but because my father was innocent; King Zhou defeated me, not because of my father's guilt, but because I, a young man, was unscrupulous."
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