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The way of the gentleman is expensive and hidden. The foolishness of a husband and wife can be understood, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not know it. The unworthy husband and wife can do something, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not be able to do it. The universe is so big, but people still have something to regret. Therefore, when a gentleman speaks big, no one in the world can contain it; when he speaks small, no one in the world can break it. The Book of Songs says, "The kite flies to the sky, and the fish leaps in the deep." It means that he is observant of everything. The way of a gentleman starts with husband and wife, and when it reaches the extreme, he observes the universe.
Ritual is to the right state: it is like a scale to weight, a ruler to straightness, and a compass to squareness. Therefore, if the scale is honestly hung, it cannot be deceived by the weight; if the ruler is honestly laid out, it cannot be deceived by the crookedness; if the rules are honestly set up, it cannot be deceived by the squareness and roundness; a gentleman examines the rites and cannot be accused of treachery. Therefore, those who respect the rites and follow the rites are called the gentlemen with the rules; those who do not respect the rites and do not follow the rites are called the people without the rules. It is the way of respect and yielding. Therefore, when serving the ancestral temple, one is respectful; when entering the court, the noble and the humble have their positions; when living at home, the father and son are close and the brothers are harmonious; when living in the village, the elders and the young are in order. Confucius said: "To settle the state and govern the people, nothing is better than rites." This is what he meant.
When Kong Junping was seriously ill, Yu Sikong was sent to Kuaiji to visit him. He asked him about his condition and even shed tears. After Yu got off the bed, Kong said with a sigh: "A real man is about to die, but instead of asking about the way to keep the country and the family safe, he pretends to be a child and asks!" When Yu heard this, he thanked him and asked him to talk.
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