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. When parents grow old, they should not change their ways and should not be late. When parents are sick and look pale, this is the filial son's indifference. When a father dies and one cannot read his books, the traces of his hand remain; when a mother dies and one cannot drink from the cup, the traces of her mouth remain.
He Sikong went to Luoyang to respond to the order and became the attendant of the crown prince. Passing through Wuchang Gate, playing the piano on the boat. Zhang Jiying had never met him before, but he heard the clear sound of the strings at Jinchang Pavilion, so he got off the boat to congratulate him and they started talking. Then they got to know each other very well. He asked He, "Where are you going?" He said, "I'm going to Luoyang to respond to orders. It's the right way to go." Zhang said, "I also have things to do in Beijing." Since there was a carriage on the way, he set out with He. He did not tell his family at first, but only found out after his family asked him about it.
When Ruan Xuanzi had a good reputation, the Grand Commandant Wang Yifu saw him and asked, "Are the teachings of Laozi and Zhuangzi similar or different from those of the sages?" Ruan Xuanzi replied, "There may be no similarities." The Grand Commandant was pleased with his words and appointed him as an official. People in the world call him "three-language official". Wei Jie mocked him and said, “One word can refute it, why bother with three?” Xuan Zi said, “If he is respected by the world, I can refute him without saying a word, why bother with one word?” So they became friends.
An old friend of Confucius was Yuanrang. When his mother died, Confucius helped her wash the coffin. Yuanrang climbed a tree and said, "It has been a long time since I have trusted music." The song went, "The spotted head of a raccoon, holding the curled hand of a woman." Confucius passed by as someone who did not hear it. The follower said, "Can't you stop?" Confucius said, "I have heard that relatives should not lose their relatives, and the old ones should not lose their old ones."
The mourning period is lived in the hut, and the mourning period is not allowed to go to the hut for the whole mourning period. If the father is still alive, the mother is still alive, and the wife is still alive; if the mourning period is the period of Qisui, and the mourning period of Dagong Busui for nine months, they will not go to the hut for three months. Women do not live in the hut, and do not sleep in the thatched. After the mourning of parents, go home after the mourning; if the period is nine months, go home after the burial. In the case of public mourning, the great officials wait for the mourning, and the scholars cry and go home. When the parents of a senior official or scholar are buried, they should return home after the funeral. On the anniversary of the death of the deceased on the first month of the lunar month, they should return home to mourn in the clan. When the father or brothers are buried, they should return home after the mourning. A father is not inferior to a son, and an elder brother is not inferior to a younger brother.
Someone asked: "What is the cane for?" The answer is: a filial son who has lost his parents cries countless times, serves for three years, and becomes sick and thin, so he uses a cane to support the sick. If the father is still alive, he dare not use a cane, because the respected person is still alive; he does not use a cane in the hall, because he avoids the respected person's place; he does not rush in the hall, because he is not in a hurry. This is the will of a filial son, the reality of human nature, and the principle of etiquette and righteousness. It does not come from heaven or earth, but is just human nature.
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