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Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "

The Master said: "If the ministers are not close to the people, the people are not at peace, then loyalty and respect are insufficient, and wealth and honor are excessive; if the ministers are not governed, the close ministers will be in competition. Therefore, the ministers must be respected, which is the model of the people; the close ministers must be cautious, which is the way of the people. The king should not make small plans for big things, do not talk about the near with the far, and do not make plans for the outside with the inside, then the ministers will not complain, the close ministers will not be angry, and the distant ministers will not be blinded. The Duke of She said in his last words: "Do not ruin big things with small plans, do not anger Queen Zhuang with favorite concubines, and do not anger Zhuangshi, the officials, and the ministers with favorite concubines. '"

When Wei Si Tu Jingzi died, Zixia offered condolences. The host had not yet buried him, so he went there in mourning clothes. Ziyou went to mourn. After the host had buried him, Ziyou came out, wearing mourning clothes and crying. Zixia asked, "Did you hear that?" He said, "I heard from you, Master, that if the host has not changed his clothes, he should not wear mourning clothes." Zengzi said, "Yanzi can be said to know etiquette, and he is respectful." Youruo said, "Yanzi wore the same fox fur coat for thirty years, and sent one carriage to the tomb and returned; the king had seven carriages, and the ministers had five carriages. How could Yanzi know etiquette?" Zengzi said, "If a country is not governed by the Way, a gentleman will be ashamed to be full of etiquette. If the state is extravagant, then show it frugality; if the state is frugal, then show it etiquette.




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更新时间:2025-03-18

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