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When Zigong asked about mourning, Confucius said, "Respect is the best, grief is the next, and thinness is the worst. The color of the face reflects the feelings; the sorrowful expression reflects the clothes." When asked about the mourning of brothers, Confucius said, "The mourning of brothers is recorded in the books and strategies. "A gentleman does not take away the mourning of others, nor should he take away his own mourning. Confucius said: "Shaolian and Dalian are good at mourning. They do not get tired for three days and do not stop for three months. They are sad for a long time and worried for three years. They are the sons of Dongyi. ”
Ruan Ji's sister-in-law once came back home, and Ji saw her and said goodbye to her. Or ridicule it. Ji said, "Is the etiquette designed for people like us?"
Women who are not in mourning for three years should not go beyond their fiefdoms to offer condolences. If they are in mourning for three years, then the wife of the ruler will return home.
In all sacrifices, there are those that should be abolished and no one dares to perform them, and there are those that should be performed and no one dares to abolish them. Offering sacrifices that are not what they should be is called lewd sacrifices. Lewd sacrifices bring no blessings. The emperor offers sacrificed cattle, the princes offer fat cattle, the officials offer oxen, and the scholars offer sheep and pigs. If the sons of the branches do not offer sacrifices, the sons of the clan must be informed of the sacrifices.
Liu Ling was always indulging in drinking and being unrestrained. Sometimes he would take off his clothes and walk naked in the house, and people would laugh at him. Ling said: "I use the heaven and earth as my building, and my house as my clothes. Why do you want to enter my army?"
Wake up early, the woman bathes and waits for the meeting; at dawn, the husband helps the woman to meet the uncle and aunt, holds a basket, dates, chestnuts, and cuts to meet, helps the woman to offer wine, and the woman offers dried meat and salted meat, and offers wine, which completes the woman's etiquette. When the uncle and aunt enter the room, the woman offers a special pig to show that the woman is obedient. At dawn, the uncle and aunt The women are feasted together with a ceremony of offering sacrifices and offerings. The uncles and aunts first descend from the west steps, and the women descend from the east steps, to show their generation.
In the case of a funeral, if money and gold are presented to the king, it is said: "Pay the tribute to the officials". The horses are brought into the temple gate; the horses and coins are brought into the temple gate, and the white chariots are not brought into the temple gate. After the person who brings the tribute has given the order, he sits down and leaves it to the king, and the person who sends the tribute lifts it up.
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
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