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Xie Gong wrote to Wang Youjun: "Respect and harmony are good."
The way of a gentleman is like starting from near when he wants to go far, and starting from low when he wants to climb high. The Book of Songs says: "Wife and wife are in harmony, like playing the harp and the lyre. Brothers are in harmony, and they are happy and indulgent. Be good to your family, and enjoy your wife and money." Confucius said: "Parents are obedient!"
Xu Shizhong and Gu Sikong were both assistants to the prime minister. At that time, they had already been met, and there were no differences in their outings, banquets and gatherings. One night, they went to the prime minister's tent to play with each other. The two of them were so happy that the prime minister ordered them to sleep in his tent. When I looked back at dawn, I felt no joy. Xu went to bed and snored loudly. The Prime Minister looked at the guests and said, "It is hard to find a place to sleep here either."
Since Yin Zhongwen had always been famous, he believed that he would be able to govern the country. Suddenly he became the prefect of Dongyang, and he felt very unhappy. When he arrived at Fuyang, he sighed and said, "Looking at the terrain and conditions here, there must be another Sun Bofu!"
Also, the condolence ceremony of the princes is treated as if they were treated as princes. When the lady arrives, she enters from the gate and ascends from the side steps, while the prince is in the east. The rest is the same as the funeral ceremony. The sister-in-law does not caress the uncle, and the uncle does not caress the sister-in-law.
When Wei Si Tu Jingzi died, Zixia offered condolences. The host had not yet buried him, so he went there in mourning clothes. Ziyou went to mourn. After the host had buried him, Ziyou came out, wearing mourning clothes and crying. Zixia asked, "Did you hear that?" He said, "I heard from you, Master, that if the host has not changed his clothes, he should not wear mourning clothes." Zengzi said, "Yanzi can be said to know etiquette, and he is respectful." Youruo said, "Yanzi wore the same fox fur coat for thirty years, and sent one carriage to the tomb and returned; the king had seven carriages, and the ministers had five carriages. How could Yanzi know etiquette?" Zengzi said, "If a country is not governed by the Way, a gentleman will be ashamed to be full of etiquette. If the state is extravagant, then show it frugality; if the state is frugal, then show it etiquette.
There was a little boy in Zhongchao whose father was sick, so he begged for medicine. The host asked about his illness, and he said, "I have malaria." The host said, "You are a noble and virtuous gentleman, why do you have malaria?" He replied, "I came to be a gentleman, so I have malaria."
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