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The etiquette of being a minister: do not make public remonstrances. If you remonstrate three times and he does not listen, then flee.
Zi Zhang died, Zengzi had his mother's death; he went to cry in the mourning at the age of 18. Someone said: "You can't mourn at the age of 18." Zengzi said: "Why should I mourn?" At the death of Youruo, Duke Dao went to mourn, and Ziyou went from the left. At the death of Qi Gu Wang Ji, Duke Zhuang of Lu made great contributions. Some said, "She was married by Lu, so she should wear the mourning clothes of a sister." Some said, "She is my grandmother, so she should wear the mourning clothes."
When Bian Fan was the prefect of Danyang, Yang Fu returned temporarily from Nanzhou and went to Bian Xu, saying, "I am too ill to sit." Bian then opened the tent and brushed the mattress. Yang went straight to the big bed, got into the quilt and pillow. Bian Hui sat and looked around, moving the morning towards Damo. After the sheep left, Bian Yu said, "I have expected you to do the right thing, so please don't let me down."
When Wang Xun was ill, he asked Wang Wugang, "Who do people compare my army to?" Wugang replied, "People compare me to Wang Beizhonglang." Dongting turned around and lay facing the wall, sighing, "People cannot live forever!"
A good student, the teacher is relaxed and the work is twice as good, and then he follows the mediocre; a bad student, the teacher is diligent and the work is half, and then he follows and complains. A good questioner is like attacking a hard wood, first the easy part, then the hard part, and when it takes a long time, they talk to each other to understand; a bad questioner is the opposite. A good questioner is like striking a bell, if you strike it with a small sound, it will ring softly, and if you strike it with a big sound, it will ring loudly, wait until it is calm, and then it will sound its full sound; a bad questioner is the opposite. These are all ways to advance learning.
Ziyun: "As for the father's hand, you can ride in his car but not wear his clothes. The gentleman uses this to expand filial piety." Confucius said: "The villain can all support their parents, but the gentleman is not respectful, how to distinguish?" Confucius said: "Father and son are not in the same position, so they are respectful." The Book of Documents says: "If you don't respect your ancestors, you will be disgraced." Confucius said: "When parents are alive, don't call them old, talk about filial piety but not kindness; inside the boudoir, play but don't sigh." The gentleman uses this to keep the people, and the people are still less filial and more kind. Confucius said: "The ruler of the people, the court respects the elderly, and then the people will be filial." Confucius said: "Sacrificial offerings have corpses, and they are the masters of the ancestral temples, which show the people that there is something to do. Repairing the ancestral temples and respecting the sacrifices are to teach the people to pursue filial piety." With this, the people still forget their parents.
Hua Xin treated his sons and daughters very strictly. Even in a quiet room, he was as strict as if they were in the court. The brothers Chen Yuanfang indulged in tenderness and love, and the two families did not deviate from the track of Yongxi.
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