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When the princes send out their wives, the wives will come to their country with the etiquette of wives; when they arrive, they will enter with wives. The messenger was about to order, saying, "My lord is incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I have sent my envoy to report this to the steward." The host replied, "My lord has already refused to teach me before. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The officials laid out the utensils; the host's officials also received them. When the wife left, the husband sent someone to bring her back, saying, "I am incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The host replied, "My son is unfilial. I dare not avoid punishment. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The messenger withdrew, and the host bowed to see him off. If the uncle is alive, he should be called uncle; if the uncle is dead, he should be called brother; if there is no brother, he should be called husband. The host's resignation was, "My son is unfilial." If they were aunts or sisters, they would also be called.
The prefect of Yingchuan was named Chen Zhonggong. A guest asked Yuan Fang, "What do you think of the governor?" Yuan Fang said, "He is a wise ruler." "What do you think of your master?" He said, "He is a loyal minister and a filial son." The guest said, "The Book of Changes says, 'Two people of one mind can cut through metal; words of one mind are as fragrant as orchids.' How could a wise ruler punish a loyal minister and a filial son?" Yuan Fang said, "What you said is so absurd! So I won't answer you." The guest said, "You are just trying to be respectful so I can't answer you." Yuan Fang said, "In the past, Emperor Gaozong exiled the filial son Xiaoji, Yin Jifu exiled the filial son Boqi, and Dong Zhongshu exiled the filial son Fuqi. Only these three rulers were wise rulers, and only these three sons were loyal ministers and filial sons." The guest left in shame.
When serving, you must leave the seat; if you don’t leave, you must leave the party of the king. If you don’t go to the front to get on the seat, it is called jumping the seat. If you sit alone and don’t use the full length of the mat, read and eat, then level, and the bowl is one foot away from the mat. If you give food to someone and the king is the guest, then order him to offer sacrifices, and then offer sacrifices; first eat, argue and taste the food, drink and wait. If there is anyone who wants to taste food, he should wait until the king has finished eating, then eat, eat, drink and wait. If the king orders food, and food is close to him, he should order him to taste it, and then he will eat what he wants. Whenever you eat food far away, you must follow the food near you. You dare not eat before the king covers his hands; after the king has eaten, he eats and eats, and eating and eating is three meals. After the king has finished, he takes the rice and sauce, and then leaves and gives it to the followers. Whenever you serve food, you don’t eat everything; you don’t get full from eating from others. Only water and porridge are not offered as a sacrifice, and if you offer it as a sacrifice, it is humiliating for your peers. If the king gives you a cup, you should cross the table and bow twice to receive it, and then go up to the table to offer it. Drink the cup and wait for the king to finish the cup, and then give the empty cup. When a gentleman drinks, he will be ashamed when he receives one cup, and he will talk about it after two cups. After three cups, he will leave with a smile. When he leaves, he will sit down and take his shoes, and then take his shoes away. When sitting on the left, he will take the right, and when sitting on the right, he will take the left. All vessels must be served with dark wine, only the emperor's vessel is served, only the common people are served with wine, the side vessels of the officials are served with a wooden pole, and the side vessels of the scholars are served with a ban.
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更新时间:2025-03-15
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