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During the day, it is okay to stay inside and ask about someone's illness; at night, it is okay to stay outside and express condolences. Therefore, a gentleman does not stay outside unless there is a major cause; he does not stay inside day and night unless he is in Qi or is not ill.
Zigong asked Confucius, "May I ask why gentlemen value jade and despise enamel? Is it because jade is scarce and enamel is plentiful?" Confucius said, "It is not because enamel is plentiful that they despise it, but because jade is scarce that they value it. In the past, gentlemen compared virtues to jade: warm and moist, it is benevolence; meticulous and fine, it is knowledge; incorruptible but not sharp, it is righteousness; hanging like a string, it is courtesy; knocking, the sound is clear and long, and it bends at the end, it is music; flaws do not cover the beauty, and beauty does not cover the flaws, it is loyalty; trustworthiness is everywhere, it is trustworthiness; aura is like a white rainbow, it is heaven; spirit is seen in mountains and rivers, it is earth; jade is outstanding, it is virtue. What is valued by all in the world is the Tao. The Book of Songs says, 'When I think of a gentleman, he is as warm as jade.' Therefore, gentlemen value it."
Wang Ziyou once stayed temporarily in someone else's empty house and asked him to plant bamboo. Someone asked, "Why do you bother to stay here for a while?" Wang Xiao chanted for a long time, pointed to the bamboo and said, "How can I live without you for even a day?"
〔There are ten relationships in sacrifice〕Spreading the banquet and setting up the same table is to rely on the gods; calling the gods in the room and leaving the temple is the way to communicate with the gods. The ruler welcomes the sacrifice but not the corpse, which is to separate suspicion. If the corpse is outside the temple gate, it will be suspected by the minister, but if it is inside the temple, it will be safe for the ruler; if the ruler is outside the temple gate, it will be suspected by the ruler, but if it is inside the temple, it will be safe for the minister and the son. Therefore, those who do not leave the temple are clear about the righteousness between the ruler and the minister. In the way of sacrifice, the grandson serves the king's father's corpse. The one who serves the corpse is the son of the one who offers sacrifice; the father faces north to serve it, so as to clarify the way for the son to serve the father. This is the relationship between father and son. On the fifth day of the funeral, the king washes the jade cup and offers it to the nobles; on the seventh day of the funeral, the king offers the jade cup to the great officials; on the ninth day of the funeral, the king offers the scattered cup to the scholars and the officials, all in order of seniority. This is to clarify the order of superiority and inferiority.
The way of the gentleman is expensive and hidden. The foolishness of a husband and wife can be understood, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not know it. The unworthy husband and wife can do something, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not be able to do it. The universe is so big, but people still have something to regret. Therefore, when a gentleman speaks big, no one in the world can contain it; when he speaks small, no one in the world can break it. The Book of Songs says, "The kite flies to the sky, and the fish leaps in the deep." It means that he is observant of everything. The way of a gentleman starts with husband and wife, and when it reaches the extreme, he observes the universe.
Han Kangbo was ill and was shaking with the help of a cane. Seeing that all the Xies were rich and powerful, and were hiding in the streets, he sighed and said, "How is this different from the time of Wang Mang?"
Chen Taiqiu made an appointment with his friend to go out at noon. He did not arrive after passing the middle, so Taiqiu gave up. After he left, he arrived. Yuan Fang was seven years old at the time and was playing outside the door. The guest asked Yuan Fang, "Is your father here?" He replied, "I waited for you for a long time but you didn't come, so I left." His friend was angry and said, "What a cruel person! He made an appointment with someone and then left without saying goodbye." Yuan Fang said, "You made an appointment with my father at noon. If you don't come at noon, you are untrustworthy; if you scold your father in front of your son, you are rude." His friend was ashamed and got off the car to take him out. Yuan Fang walked in without paying any attention.
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