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Confucius said: "After bowing, one should bow his head, which means he is in a state of slackness; after bowing his head, one should bow his head, which means he is in a state of height. During the three-year mourning period, I will follow the one who is in a state of height."
At first, Fatai came to the north and was unknown, so the king led his army to support him. Whenever he went out with him, he would go to famous places in Xu and travel with him. If you don't eliminate it, you can't stop the car. Therefore, his name became important.
Someone asked, "Why do people bury their parents after three days of death?" The answer is: filial sons are sad and resentful when their parents die, so they crawl on the ground and cry, as if they will be resurrected, how can they be taken away and buried. Therefore, it is said that the funeral is held after three days, in order to wait for the body to be reborn. If the body is not reborn after three days, it is also dead. The filial son's heart will also be weakened; the family plan and clothing can also be completed; the distant relatives can also come. Therefore, the sages made a decision to set a three-day ritual system.
Whenever guests enter, each door should be opened to the guests. When the guest arrives at the bedroom door, the host invites him in and takes a seat, and then goes out to greet the guest. The guest insisted on declining, and the host invited him in. The host enters on the right, and the guest enters on the left. The host goes up the east steps, the guest goes up the west steps. If the guest wants to lower his status, he goes up the host's steps. The host firmly declined, and then the guest returned to the west steps. The host and the guest give way to each other and the host goes up first, followed by the guest, climbing up the steps together and walking up in succession. When going up the east steps, put your right foot first; when going up the west steps, put your left foot first.
During the reign of Emperor Yuan, the Chief Justice Zhang Kai lived in Xiaoshi and built a private gate that closed in the morning and opened in the evening. The small people were worried about this and went to the county government to file a complaint, but their case was not heard. They then went to the county court to file a complaint, but still no verdict was made. When he heard that Sikong He had left, he went to Pogang and went to He to file a complaint. He said, "I have been conscripted as a ritual official and this matter has nothing to do with me." The young men kowtowed and said, "If the governor is not treated well again, we will have nowhere to complain." He said nothing and ordered them to leave and to report to Zhang Tingwei when they saw him. When Zhang heard this, he immediately demolished the gate and went to Fangshan to greet him. He came out to see him and said, "There is no need to see Guan, but I have a relationship with you, so I cherish it." Zhang thanked him ashamedly and said, "I didn't know that I was like this at the beginning, and I was ruined long ago."
Taoist Lin went to see Mr. Xie. He was a child in Dongyang. He had just recovered from an illness and was not yet able to bear the hard work. After discussing with Mr. Lin, they ended up quarreling with each other. His mother, Lady Wang, listened to it from behind the wall, and then sent another letter ordering him to return, but the Grand Tutor kept him. Mrs. Wang then went out and said, "My new wife suffered a family tragedy when she was young. This child is all I have for my life." She burst into tears and took the child home. Mr. Xie said to his companions, "My sister-in-law's speech was so passionate and impressive that it is worthy of being passed down. I regret that I did not allow the officials to see it."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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