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Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
When Nangong Jiang's wife's aunt died, the Master taught her to wear her hair in a bun, saying, "Don't follow others, don't follow others. The hairpin is made of hazel, one foot long and eight inches in total."
Xi Chao and Xie Xuan were not on good terms. When Fu Jian was about to challenge the Jin throne, he had already devoured Liang and Qi like a wolves, and was now eyeing Huaiyin like a tiger. At that time, the court discussed sending Xuan to the north to fight, and there were many different opinions among people. Wei Chao said: "This will surely help. I once worked with him in Huan Xuanwu's office and saw that all talents were used to the fullest, and even those who were just clogs were given the job. Judging from this, Rong will surely be able to achieve great success." After Yuan Gong was accomplished, people at that time all admired Chao's foresight and respected his ability to not hide his kindness due to love and hate.
The Master said: "Ritual is reason; music is moderation. A gentleman does not move without reason, and does not act without moderation. If he cannot read poetry, he is wrong in etiquette; if he cannot play music, he is simple in etiquette; if he is weak in virtue, he is empty in etiquette. "The Master said, "The system is in the rites, the culture is in the rites, and the practice is up to the people!" Zigong crossed the table and replied, "May I ask: Is Kui poor?" The Master said, "Ancient people? Ancient people. Those who are good at rites but not music are called simple; those who are good at music but not rites are called partial. Kui was good at music but not rites, so he passed down this name. He was an ancient person."
General Wang wrote to Emperor Yuan: "Shu Feng is simple and upright, and he is a refined person. He is more profound than others. He is the one I have known since I was young. Yi Fu and Cheng said: 'You know Chu Ming and Mao Hong. Mao Hong has a good reputation, and he really matches your clear opinion. Chu Ming is close to no one who knows him. I always take your words into consideration, but I have not achieved anything. I am afraid you have regretted it.' I said with emotion: 'You have tried it with this, and only recently have people praised him.' It means that ordinary people are worried that knowing too much will lead to mistakes, and not knowing how to live up to the reality."
Gu He first worked as an official in Yangzhou. It was the first day of the lunar calendar. Before dawn, he parked his car outside the city gate. The Marquis of Zhou went to see the Prime Minister, and sat beside the carriage. And looking for lice, he remained motionless. After Zhou had passed by, he returned and pointed to Gu Xin and asked, "What is there in this place?" Gu was still scratching his lice. Xu Ying said, "This is the most unfathomable place." After Zhou Hou entered, he said to the Prime Minister, "There is a talented person among the officials in your state."
When the king gives a carriage and horses, ride to pay tribute to the gift; wear clothes to pay tribute to the gift; do not dare to ride or wear without the king's order. When the king gives, bow and place the gift on the ground with your palm; when wine and meat are given, do not bow twice. In all gifts, gentlemen and villains have different days. When offering to the king, the senior officials send the butcher, and the scholars are relatives, all bow twice and bow to send. When serving the king a meal, if there are meat peaches and straw, the straw is removed for the senior officials and the meat is removed for the scholars, and all are done by the butcher. The senior officials do not bow in person, as it is the king's response to themselves. The senior official bowed and gave gifts and left. The scholar waited for the promise and left. He bowed again, but no one bowed in return. The senior official personally gave gifts to the scholar. The scholar bowed and accepted. He bowed again in his room. He did not put on clothes before bowing. When the enemy was not present, he bowed in his room. Whenever he made an offering to a respected person, he did not dare to report it. The scholar did not accept the congratulations of the senior official. The lower official accepted the congratulations of the higher official. When the relatives were present, he addressed the person as father. If someone gave him gifts, he addressed him as father and bowed to him. The ceremony was not grand, and the clothes were not full. Therefore, the fur coat was not covered, and the carriage was not arranged in a proper manner.
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