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Zilu said, "I heard from the Master that in funeral rituals, it is better to have more mourning than not mourning. In sacrificial rituals, it is better to have more respect than not respect."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
After Huan Xuan returned from Yixing, he met Sima Taifu, who was already drunk and sat with many guests. He asked people, "Huan Wen wants to be a thief, what should we do?" Huan Xuan fell down and could not get up. Xie Jingzhong was the Chief Secretary at the time. He raised the plaque and replied, "The former Duke Xuanwu dismissed the ignorant and promoted the wise, and his achievements surpassed those of Yi and Huo. He judged the various opinions with the help of his wise judge." The Grand Tutor said, "I know! I know!" He then raised the cup and said, "Huan Yixing, let me offer you a drink." Huan came out to thank him.
Wang Junfu used rice from a rice pot to cook, and Shi Jilin used candles to cook. Junfu made a purple silk cloth barrier covered with green satin forty li, while Shi Chong made a brocade barrier fifty li to compete with him. Shi used pepper to make mud, and Wang used red ochre to make mud walls.
In mourning of parents, after the funeral, one should cry for the deceased, eat simple food and drink water, and not eat vegetables and fruits; in the time of the minor auspiciousness, one should eat vegetables and fruits; in the time of the major auspiciousness, one should eat soy sauce; in the middle of the month, one should mourn, and drink sweet wine during the mourning. Those who start drinking should drink sweet wine first. Those who start eating meat should eat dried meat first. In the case of parents' funeral, people live in a lean-to house, sleep on straw and a block of pillow, and do not wear mourning clothes; in the case of mourning of the first mourning period, people live in a whitened room, and do not wear sackcloth or bees; in the case of mourning of the second mourning period, people sleep on mats, and in the case of mourning of the third mourning period, people wear hemp and a bed. This is the way that grief is expressed in the place where one lives.
During the time of Duke Ding of Zhulou, someone killed his father. When the officials reported this, the Duke suddenly dropped his seat and said, "This is my fault." He said, "I have learned how to judge this case: if a minister kills the king, all officials will be killed without mercy; if a son kills his father, all palace officials will be killed without mercy. Kill the person, destroy his house, flood his palace and make pigs. It will take more than a month for the king to be promoted."
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