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The etiquette for being a son is: be warm in winter and cool in summer, be alert at dusk and check on others in the morning, and do not argue with the ugly and the barbaric.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Xi Jiabin asked Taifu Xie, "How does Lin compare to Ji?" Xie said, "Ji works hard, so he can be eliminated." He asked again, "How does Yin compare to Zhi?" Xie said, "You are superior, so Zhi is better than Yin. But you keep arguing, and I am afraid Yin wants to control Zhi."
銆銆When Fan Xuan was eight years old, he was picking vegetables in the back garden and accidentally injured his finger and started crying loudly. Someone asked, "Are you in pain?" He replied, "It's not pain, I just dare not damage my body or hair, that's why I'm crying!" Xuan Jie was a frugal person, so when Han Yuzhang gave him a hundred pieces of silk, he refused to accept them. He reduced the amount by fifty pieces, but still refused to accept it. In this way, he reduced it by half, until it reached one horse, but he never accepted it again. The Queen of Han was riding in the same carriage with Fan. The Queen cut two feet of flesh in the carriage and gave it to Fan, saying, "Would anyone rather let his wife be without a scarf?" Fan laughed and accepted it.
Chen Zhongju once sighed and said: "People like Zhou Ziju are truly capable of governing a country. If compared to a precious sword, he is the best of the world."
An old friend of Confucius was Yuanrang. When his mother died, Confucius helped her wash the coffin. Yuanrang climbed a tree and said, "It has been a long time since I have trusted music." The song went, "The spotted head of a raccoon, holding the curled hand of a woman." Confucius passed by as someone who did not hear it. The follower said, "Can't you stop?" Confucius said, "I have heard that relatives should not lose their relatives, and the old ones should not lose their old ones."
Sun Changle wrote Wang Chang's history and said, "I and my husband are not snobbish in their dealings, their hearts are like clear water, and they have the same mysterious taste."
Wang Rong described the mountain as "like unpolished jade and unrefined gold. Everyone admires its treasure, but no one knows its true value."
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