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Ruan Ji's sister-in-law once came back home, and Ji saw her and said goodbye to her. Or ridicule it. Ji said, "Is the etiquette designed for people like us?"
Emperor Yuan of Han had many women in his palace, so he ordered painters to draw them. If he wanted to call someone, he would just open the picture and call him. Among them, the most common ones are those who engage in bribery. Wang Mingjun was very beautiful and did not seek perfection, so the craftsman destroyed his appearance. Later, the Huns came to make peace and asked the Han emperor for beautiful women, and the emperor regarded them as a wise ruler. After summoning him, he felt sorry for him. But the name had already been left and he didn't want to change it, so he just went ahead with it.
When serving food to elders, if the host serves the food personally, then one should bow before eating; if the host does not serve the food personally, then one should eat without bowing.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
The wet nurse of Emperor Wu of Han once committed a crime outside. The emperor wanted to enforce the law, and the wet nurse asked Dongfang Shuo for help. Shuo said, "This is not a matter of argument. If you really want to be saved, you should look back at the emperor many times before leaving and be careful not to say anything! This may be a one in a million hope." When the wet nurse arrived, Shuo was also serving by her side, so he said to her, "You are foolish! Does the emperor still remember the kindness he showed when you were feeding him?" Although the emperor was talented and strong-willed, he also had deep feelings for her, so he felt sad for her and immediately ordered her to be pardoned.
After He Huoqi died, he summoned Zhu Gong. When they arrived at Shitou, Wang Changshi and Liu Yin went to Zhu together. Zhu said, "What do you think of me, Zhen Chang?" Zhen Chang looked back at the king and said, "This boy is good at speaking." Zhu then looked at the king, who said, "The country has its own Duke Zhou."
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