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When the princes send out their wives, the wives will come to their country with the etiquette of wives; when they arrive, they will enter with wives. The messenger was about to order, saying, "My lord is incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I have sent my envoy to report this to the steward." The host replied, "My lord has already refused to teach me before. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The officials laid out the utensils; the host's officials also received them. When the wife left, the husband sent someone to bring her back, saying, "I am incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The host replied, "My son is unfilial. I dare not avoid punishment. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The messenger withdrew, and the host bowed to see him off. If the uncle is alive, he should be called uncle; if the uncle is dead, he should be called brother; if there is no brother, he should be called husband. The host's resignation was, "My son is unfilial." If they were aunts or sisters, they would also be called.
Ruan Guanglu went to the mountain tomb and arrived at the capital. He did not go to Yin, Liu and Xu, but returned after doing his business. Everyone chased after him, but Ruan knew that the current would catch up with him, so he ran away quickly, and when he reached Fangshan, he could not catch up with them. Liu Yin was the governor of Kuaiji at that time, so he sighed and said, "I will stay at Anshi Island when I enter. I dare not go near Sikuang again, as he can grab a stick and beat me. It is not easy."
If the person who attends the funeral is not the host, the host will bow to the guest and see off the guest. The person who attends the funeral, from the Qisui and below, enters the left courtyard and faces north, cries until he is exhausted, takes off the mourning robe in the east of the order, takes the seat and bares the body, cries and dances with the host. Cry again and cry for the third time, and if there is a guest, the host bows to the guest and sees him off. The husband and wife treat each other as if they were crying morning and night, and their position does not change.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
When Duke Huan was young, he was as famous as the Duke of Yin, and they always had a competitive spirit. Huan asked Yin, "How do you compare to me?" Yin said, "I have been dealing with myself for a long time, so I would rather be myself."
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