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Xi Jiabin asked Taifu Xie, "How does Lin compare to Ji?" Xie said, "Ji works hard, so he can be eliminated." He asked again, "How does Yin compare to Zhi?" Xie said, "You are superior, so Zhi is better than Yin. But you keep arguing, and I am afraid Yin wants to control Zhi."
After crying, taboos are used. In etiquette, do not taboo names that are disliked. Two names are not tabooed. If you are in the service of your parents, you should taboo the king's parents; if you are not in the service of your parents, you should not taboo the king's parents. The king has no private taboos, and the nobles have public taboos. There is no taboo in the "Book of Songs" and "Book of Documents", and there is no taboo in writing. There is no taboo in the temple. The taboos of wives, even in front of the king, are not taboos; women do not taboo when leaving home. There is no taboo for major or minor merits. Ask about the prohibitions when entering the country, ask about the customs when entering the country, and ask about the taboos when entering the door.
He Cidao and Yu Jijian were both prime ministers. When Emperor Cheng died, the successor was not decided yet. He wanted to establish his son as the heir. Yu Ji and the court thought that the foreign invaders were strong and the heir was young, so they established Emperor Kang. When Emperor Kang ascended the throne, he convened a meeting with his ministers and said to He, "Whose advice is it that has enabled me to inherit the great cause today?" He replied, "Your Majesty's ascension to the throne is the result of Yu Bing's achievement, not my effort. If you had followed my humble advice at that time, you would not be able to see the prosperous Ming Dynasty now." The emperor looked ashamed.
If the person who attends the funeral is not the host, the host will bow to the guest and see off the guest. The person who attends the funeral, from the Qisui and below, enters the left courtyard and faces north, cries until he is exhausted, takes off the mourning robe in the east of the order, takes the seat and bares the body, cries and dances with the host. Cry again and cry for the third time, and if there is a guest, the host bows to the guest and sees him off. The husband and wife treat each other as if they were crying morning and night, and their position does not change.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Yin Zhongjun once went to Liu Yin's place to speak clearly. After a long time, Yin Li was slightly defeated, You kept on talking, and Liu did not answer him either. After Yin left, he said, "You are a peasant boy, you are trying to learn to speak your language."
No one can escape the funeral procession unless they follow the coffin and cry. In all funerals, from minor to major, no bathing is allowed unless there are auspicious signs such as the mourning clothes and the funeral rites. In the case of a funeral of a young man, after the burial, if someone asks to see the deceased, then he can see the deceased; but if no one asks to see the deceased, then he can see the deceased. In the case of a minor funeral, then he can see the deceased if he asks to see the deceased. In the case of a major funeral, then he does not need to hold the coffin. Only in the case of a parent’s funeral, one does not need to weep and see the deceased. In the case of a three-year funeral, auspicious signs are followed; in the case of a full-term funeral, one cries and follows the deceased’s funeral; in the case of a nine-month funeral, after the burial, one follows the deceased’s funeral; in the case of a minor funeral, after the funeral, one follows the deceased’s funeral. Zeng Shen asked Zeng Zi, “Is there a fixed sound for crying parents?” Zeng Zi replied, “A baby lost its mother on the way, so what fixed sound is there?” ”
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