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Zisi said: "After three days of mourning, the coffin should be buried. Everything attached to the body must be sincere and trustworthy, and there should be no regrets. After three months, the coffin should be buried. Everything attached to the coffin must be sincere and trustworthy, and there should be no regrets. Three years of mourning is the limit, and once a person dies, he will not forget it. Therefore, a gentleman has a lifetime of worries, but no worries of one day. Therefore, he does not rejoice on the anniversary of his death."
Confucius got up early, put his hands behind his back and dragged his stick, and swayed at the door, singing, "Is Mount Tai collapsing? Is the beam breaking? Is the philosopher withering?" After singing, he went in and sat in front of the door. Zigong heard it and said, "If Mount Tai collapses, where can I look up? If the beam breaks and the philosopher withers, where can I go? Master, I am afraid you will be ill." Then he hurried in. The Master said, "Ci! Why are you so late? The Xia emperor was buried on the east steps, which was like being in the east; the Yin people buried between the two pillars, which meant that they were flanked by the host and the guest; the Zhou people buried on the west steps, which was like being the guest. And I am a Yin person. Last night, I dreamed that I was sitting and lying between the two pillars. If a wise king does not rise, who in the world can respect me? I am about to die." He died after seven days of illness.
When Ruan Guanglu was in Shan, he had a good car and he lent it to everyone who asked for it. Someone wanted to borrow money to bury his mother but did not dare to ask. When Queen Ruan heard this, she sighed and said, "I have a carriage but people are afraid to lend it to me. What's the use of the carriage?" Then she burned it.
It is better to not be in decline than to be inappropriate. One should not sit at the side in mourning, and one should not serve in service for great achievements.
Zhongni was at a banquet, and Zi Zhang, Zi Gong, and Yan were there to accompany him. They talked about etiquette. The Master said: “Stop! I will tell you three about etiquette and let you go around with etiquette to cover everything.” Zi Gong crossed the mat and replied: “May I ask how it goes? ”The Master said, “Respect without following the rules of propriety is called wildness; respect without following the rules of propriety is called servility; courage without following the rules of propriety is called rebellion.” The Master said, “Serving others takes away kindness and benevolence.” The Master said, “Master, you are too much; and Shang is not as good as that. Zichan is like the mother of all people, who can feed them but cannot teach them.” Zigong crossed the table and replied, “May I ask what you will do to achieve this middle point?” The Master said, “Ritual! Rituals are used to set the middle point.”
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