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When a person dies, he should not be idle for three days, and he should not be relieved for three months. He should be sad for three years, and he should be worried for three years - this is the killing of grace. The sage uses killing to control moderation, and this is why mourning lasts for three years. The wise should not go beyond the limit, and the unworthy should not fail to reach the limit. This is the mean of mourning, and it is what the king always does. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is good; all kings should follow this ritual. Why is it good for him alone? It is said: Emperor Gaozong was Wu Ding; Wu Ding was a wise king of the Yin Dynasty. He succeeded the throne and was kind and good at mourning. At this time, the Yin Dynasty declined and revived, and rituals were abolished and revived, so he did it well. Because it was good, it was recorded in the book and praised, so he was called Emperor Gaozong. During the three-year mourning, the king did not speak. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is what it means. However, those who say "speaking without culture" refer to the ministers.
Auspicious is the host’s exemption. It starts at night and the morning is in mourning. The mourning period is the same as before. Ziyou said: “After the auspicious period, even those who should not wear mourning must wear mourning, and then they can wear mourning again. "When you are naked, when a senior official arrives, even if you are supposed to dance, you should stop dancing and bow, then dance again, then dance again, then dance again. For scholars, after the dance is done, they should dance again and then bow, not dance again. The funeral of senior officials is a small sacrifice. After the funeral, they cry and pay tribute, all of which are large sacrifices. The funeral of junior officials is a special sacrifice. After the funeral, they cry and pay tribute, all of which are small sacrifices. When the funeral is called by the oracle, the descendants are called Ai, the husband is called Nai, and the brothers are called Mou. The oracle for the burial of one's brothers is called Bo Zi Mou.
When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
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