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Wang Rong was frugal and stingy. When his nephew married, he gave her only a single piece of clothing, but he later blamed her for it.
The two sons of Yang Huai, the governor of Jizhou, Qiao and Mao, were both born with the intention of becoming talented people. Huai was friendly with Pei Wei and Yue Guang, so he sent people to meet them. Huai was generous and open-minded. He loved Qiao's high rhyme and said to Huai, "Qiao is as good as you, but Mao is a little inferior." Guang was pure and honest. He loved Mao's prudent mind and said to Huai, "Qiao is as good as you, but Mao is even more outstanding." Huai laughed and said, "The superiority and inferiority of my two sons is the superiority and inferiority of Pei and Le." Commentators commented that although Qiao had high rhyme, he was not prudent enough; while Le's words were appropriate. However, they are both outstanding talents that came later.
When Wang Youjun saw Du Hongzhi, he sighed and said, "His face is as white as cream, his eyes are as white as lacquer. He is a man of gods and immortals." At that time, some people praised Wang Changshi for his appearance. Cai Gong said, "It's a pity that people haven't seen Du Hongzhi!"
The way of heaven is the highest teaching, and the sage is the highest virtue. Above the temple hall, the Lei Zun is in the east, and the Xi Zun is in the west. Below the temple hall, the Xian Gu is in the west, and the Ying Gu is in the east. The king is in the east, and the lady is in the room. The sun is born in the east, and the moon is born in the west. This is the division of yin and yang, and the position of husband and wife. The king drinks from the Xi Xiang in the west, and the lady drinks from the Lei Zun in the east. The interaction of rituals moves above, and the interaction of music responds to below, which is the ultimate harmony. Rituals are to reflect what they are born from; music is to enjoy what they are made from. Therefore, the ancient kings established rituals to regulate affairs and cultivate music to guide their will. Therefore, by observing their rituals and music, we can know whether they are in order or not. Qu Boyu said: "A gentleman is a man of great ability, so by observing his utensils, we can know his skill; by observing his hair, we can know his wisdom." Therefore, it is said: "A gentleman is careful about what he gives to others."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
The study of memorizing and asking questions is not enough to be a teacher. It is necessary to listen to the words, and if you can't ask them, then tell them; if you don't understand after the words, you can just give up.
The father offers sacrifices to the son and then orders the bride to go up, and the man goes before the woman. The son accepts the order and goes to the temple to greet the bride. The host sets up a banquet in the temple, and then greets the bride outside the door. The son-in-law enters with a goose, bows and yields to the gods, and then bows again to offer the goose, which is to receive it from his parents personally. . After the wedding, the bride comes out in the carriage, and the husband hands over the reins, and the bridegroom rides three times. He waits outside the door first, and when the bride arrives, the husband bows to her and lets her in, and they eat together, and drink wine together, so as to unite the body and treat the people equally, and treat them with affection.
Wang Anfeng’s wife, Changqing Anfeng. Anfeng said, "It is disrespectful for a woman to be sweet to her husband according to etiquette. Don't do it again." The woman said, "I love you, so I am sweet to you. If I don't be sweet to you, who will?" So the woman listened to him.
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