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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Emperor Wu was about to lecture on the Book of Filial Piety, Xie Gong and his brothers had the lecture in private with others. Che Wuzi was very reluctant to ask for thanks, so he said to Yuan Yang, "If I don't ask, my good reputation will be missed; if I ask too much, I will have to thank you twice." Yuan Yang said, "I don't think so." Che asked, "How do you know?" Yuan Yang said, "Have you ever seen a bright mirror get tired of reflecting too many times, or a clear stream get scared of a benevolent breeze?"
Zhou Shuzhi was appointed as the prefect of Jinling, and Zhou Hou and Zhong Zhi went to say goodbye to him. As Shuzhi was about to leave, he couldn't stop crying. Zhong Zhi was angry and said, "She is a woman, and she is crying when she says goodbye to you!" Then he left. The Duke of Zhou stayed alone, drank with him and talked with him. Before leaving, he wept and stroked his back, saying, "Take good care of yourself."
The meaning of the banquet etiquette of the princes: the king stands in the southeast of the steps to the east, facing the ministers to the south, and the ministers all move forward a little, which is the position; the king sits on the steps to the east, occupying the main position; the king stands alone on the seat, facing the west, and no one dares to approach him. It is the etiquette of setting up guests and drinking; letting the prime minister serve the host, and no minister dares to challenge the king in etiquette; not treating the ministers as guests, but the ministers as guests, is suspicious, which shows the meaning of suspicion; when the guests enter the central courtyard, the king lowers one level and bows to them, which is a courtesy.
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