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If the eldest son is given a stick, his son will not take the position with the stick. For a wife, if the parents are alive, do not use a stick, do not bow the head. If the mother is alive, do not bow the head. Bowing the head means bowing in the gift. If you disobey the senior official of the princes, you will not return to wear clothes.
Use less than half for the pot throwing ceremony, and use all for the archery ceremony. The archer, the chief judge, and the standing scholar all belong to the guest party; the musicians, the messengers, and the boys all belong to the host party.
The way of the gentleman is expensive and hidden. The foolishness of a husband and wife can be understood, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not know it. The unworthy husband and wife can do something, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not be able to do it. The universe is so big, but people still have something to regret. Therefore, when a gentleman speaks big, no one in the world can contain it; when he speaks small, no one in the world can break it. The Book of Songs says, "The kite flies to the sky, and the fish leaps in the deep." It means that he is observant of everything. The way of a gentleman starts with husband and wife, and when it reaches the extreme, he observes the universe.
Wang Xiuling was once very poor in Dongshan. Tao Hu Nu was the magistrate of Wucheng and sent him a boatload of rice, but he refused to take it. The direct answer was, "If Wang Xiuling is hungry, he should ask Renzu for food instead of Tao Hu Numi."
Wang Dongting was the chief clerk of Huan Xuanwu. After he was loaned the position, he had a good reputation. The Duke really wanted him to become the leader of the prefecture. At first, he saw Xie Shiyi, but he looked calm. The guests sat down and laughed at each other. The Duke said, "No. Judging from his expression, he must be extraordinary. I will give it a try." Later, when the king was lying in ambush under the pavilion during the moonlit night, the Duke rode out from inside and attacked him. Those on both sides fell down, but the king did not move. His reputation and value thus greatly increased, and people all said that he was "a person who can assist the public."
Zu Guanglu was orphaned and poor when he was young. He was very filial and often cooked for his mother. Wang Pingbei heard of his good name and gave him two maids as a reward, and then appointed him as a Zhonglang. Someone teased him, saying, "The price of a slave is twice that of a maid." Zu said, "Why should Baili Xi be less valuable than the skins of five goats?"
Then why is it three years? Answer: The closest relatives are separated by a period. Why is that? Answer: The heaven and earth have changed, the four seasons have changed, and everything in the heaven and earth has been renewed, so it is a symbol. Then why is it three years? Answer: It is to add more, so why double it, so it is a double period. Why is it from September to below? Answer: Why not make it less than that. Therefore, three years is a period of mourning, a small mourning is a period of mourning, and a period of nine months is a period of mourning. Take the image from the sky above, the law from the earth below, and the example from people in the middle, and the principle of human beings living together and in harmony is complete. Therefore, the three-year mourning is the most elegant of human nature, and this is called the most solemn. This is the same for all kings, and the same for ancient and modern times, but no one knows where it comes from. Confucius said: "After three years of life, one can escape from the embrace of parents; the three-year mourning is the most common mourning in the world."
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