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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Confucius said: "After bowing, one should bow his head, which means he is in a state of slackness; after bowing his head, one should bow his head, which means he is in a state of height. During the three-year mourning period, I will follow the one who is in a state of height."
When Emperor Xiaowu of Jin was twelve years old, it was winter. He did not change his clothes during the day, but only wore five or six layers of single cotton clothes, and slept on a mat at night. Xie Gong advised, "Your Majesty's body should be kept in a regular state. Your Majesty is too cold during the day and too hot at night. I'm afraid this is not the right way to keep healthy." The emperor said, "Be active during the day and quiet at night." Xie Gong left and sighed, "You are no less rational than the previous emperor."
Ruan Hun grew up with a style and temperament similar to his father, and he also wanted to be successful. The infantry said, "Zhongrong has already taken action, so you can't do it again."
In this month, the day is the longest, and the yin and yang are in conflict, and life and death are divided. Gentlemen should be vigilant, and they must cover their bodies when they are at home, and not be impatient. They should stop listening to music and not let anyone come. They should eat less and not be too harmonious. Control your desires, calm your mind, and keep all officials quiet and free from punishment, so as to determine the achievements of the late Yin. Deer antlers fall off, cicadas begin to sing. Pinellia grows, and violets bloom. In this month, do not use fire in the south. You can live in high and bright places, look far away, climb mountains and hills, and live in terraces.
When Huan Xuanwu conquered Shu, he took Li Shi's sister as his concubine and doted on her very much, often having her sit behind the king's throne. The master was unaware of this at first, but when she heard about it, she and dozens of her maids drew their swords and attacked him. Li was combing her hair. Her hair was hanging on the ground, her complexion was as white as jade, but she remained unmoved. Xu said: "My country is destroyed and my family is ruined, I have no intention of coming to this point. If I can be killed today, it is my real wish." The lord retreated in shame.
Therefore, if male education is not cultivated, yang affairs cannot be achieved, and it happens to be seen in the sky, the sun is eclipsed; if female obedience is not cultivated, yin affairs cannot be achieved, and it happens to be seen in the sky, the moon is eclipsed. Therefore, when the sun is eclipsed, the emperor wears plain clothes and cultivates the duties of the six officials, and eliminates the yang affairs of the world; when the moon is eclipsed, the queen wears plain clothes and cultivates the duties of the six palaces, and eliminates the yin affairs of the world. Therefore, the emperor and the queen are like the sun and the moon, the yin and the yang, and they need each other to succeed. The emperor cultivates male education, which is the father's way; the queen cultivates female obedience, which is the mother's way. Therefore, it is said that the relationship between the emperor and the empress is like that between a father and his mother. Therefore, to wear mourning clothes for the emperor is the same as to wear mourning clothes for the father; to wear mourning clothes for the empress is the same as to wear mourning clothes for the mother.
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