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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Gu Rong was in Luoyang, he once accepted someone's invitation. He noticed that the person who was roasting meat wanted to be roasted too, so he stopped what he was doing. Those sitting together laughed at him. Rong said, "How can one hold it all day long and not know its taste?" Later, when he encountered chaos and had to cross the river, every time he was in danger, there was always one person by his side. When he asked him why, he found out that he was the one who was being burned.
Xie's cavalry was in trouble in Anxi, and Lin Daoren went to talk to him, but Xie left at dusk. Someone saw him on the road and asked, "Where are you from?" He replied, "I came out today after a conversation with Xie Xiaoju."
Childhood name, crown name, fifty years old, posthumous name, Zhou Dao. The 绖 is real. Dig a stream in the middle to bathe, destroy the stove to tie the feet; when buried, destroy the clan and walk out of the gate - Yin Dao. Scholars do it.
The Duke said, “May I ask what is meant by completing your body?” Confucius replied, “No more than things.” The Duke said, “May I ask what is meant by the way of heaven for a gentleman? ” Confucius replied: “It is precious to have ‘never stop’. Just like the sun and the moon follow each other from east to west, it never stops. This is the way of heaven; it does not close for a long time. This is the way of heaven; things are accomplished without action. This is the way of heaven; it is bright after it is accomplished. ” The Duke said: “I am stupid and foolish. I am bothering your mind.” Confucius kicked the mat and replied: “A benevolent man does not go beyond things, and a filial son does not go beyond things. Therefore, a benevolent man serves his parents as he serves heaven, and serves heaven as he serves his parents. Therefore, a filial son completes himself.” The Duke said: “Now that I have heard this, what is the sin in the future?” Confucius replied: “Your Majesty’s words are a blessing to me.”
Chen Zhuangzi died and went to Lu. The people of Lu did not want to cry. Duke Mu summoned Xianzi and asked him about it. Xianzi said, "In ancient times, the officials did not finish their work. Even if they wanted to cry, how could they cry? Today's officials are involved in the government of China. Even if they want not to cry, how can they not cry? Moreover, I have heard that there are two ways to cry: one is to cry for love, and the other is to cry for fear." The Duke said, "Yes, then what should we do?" Xianzi said, "Please cry in the temples of different surnames." So he cried with the Xianshi. Zhongxian said to Zengzi: "The Xia Dynasty used Mingqi to show that the people were ignorant; the Yin people used sacrificial utensils to show that the people were knowledgeable; the Zhou people used both to show that the people were suspicious." Zengzi said: "Is it not so! Is it not so! Mingqi is a ghost instrument; sacrificial utensils are human instruments; why did the ancient people die for their own parents?" Gongshu Mu's half-brother died, and he asked Ziyou. Ziyou said: "Is it a great merit?" Di Yi's half-brother died, and he asked Zixia. Zixia said: "I have never heard of it before; the people of Lu wear Qisui for him." Di Yi wore Qisui. The Qisui of today is what Di Yi asked.
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