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The Master said, "A gentleman does not use words to exhaust people. Therefore, when the world is governed by the Way, then actions have branches and leaves; when the world is not governed by the Way, then words have branches and leaves. Therefore, when a gentleman is at the side of a mourner and cannot give him a gift, he does not ask what he spends; when a sick person is at the side of a mourner and cannot give him a meal, he does not ask what he wants; when a guest is at a guest's house and cannot provide him with a guest, he does not ask where he stays. Therefore, the reception of a gentleman is like water, while that of a villain is like sweet wine; a gentleman is indifferent to success, while a villain is willing to be ruined. Xiaoya says: "A thief's words are sweet, and chaos is caused by glutinous rice." Confucius said: "A gentleman does not praise others with his words, so the people will be loyal. Therefore, a gentleman asks people if they are cold, then he clothes them; asks people if they are hungry, then he feeds them; praises people's beauty, then he gives them a title. Guofeng says: "The heart is worried, so I will go home and be happy." Confucius said: "If the mouth is good but the deeds are not fulfilled, resentment will come to the body. Therefore, a gentleman would rather have resentment than have a promise. Guofeng says: "Talking and laughing slowly, keeping promises, not thinking about the return; if you don't think about the return, what's the point!" Confucius said: "A gentleman does not get close to people with his appearance; if he is distant in affection but close in appearance, is he a thief who robs houses?" Confucius said: "The feelings should be trustworthy, and the words should be clever. ”

Wang Xiaobo asked Wang Da:"How does Ruan Ji compare to Sima Xiangru?" Wang Da said, "Ruan Ji has a lump in his chest, so he needs wine to soothe it."

When attending the funeral of the mother, face west and cry until he is exhausted, pull up the hair and bare the body, go down to the east of the hall and take the seat, cry to the west, dance, wear a mourning robe and take off the mourning robe in the east of the order, bow to the guest and see off the guest as before. The ritual of visiting one’s father is to cry again without tying up one’s hair. When a woman attends a funeral, she ascends from the east steps, goes to the east, sits facing west, cries out her sorrow, wears her hair in the east bun, takes the throne, and dances with the host. A woman who attends a funeral does not attend the funeral, but goes to the tomb first, sits facing north, cries out her sorrow. The host is waiting for her, so she sits on the left side of the tomb, and the woman on the right side of the tomb. After she finishes her mourning, she ties up her hair, takes the host’s seat in the east, wears a mourning sash and a belt, cries out her sorrow, pays respect to the guest, returns to her seat, finishes her dance, and the attendant announces that the matter is complete. Then she wears a crown and goes home, enters the door on the left, faces north. After crying out loud, the host will tie up his hair and bare his clothes, then take the throne in the east, bow to the guest and dance. When the guest leaves, the host will bow to see him off; if there is a guest who arrives later, the host will bow to him and dance; and see the guest off as before. All the host's brothers will go out, and when they leave, they will stop crying, and the attendant will tell them to take their turn. After crying again, the host will tie up his hair and dance; after crying for the third time, the host will tie up his hair and dance again. After three days, the mourning period will be completed, and after crying for the fifth time, the attendant will tell them that the matter is over. For the mother, who is different from the father, one part of the hair is tied up, and the rest is exempted from the funeral, and the rest is the same as the funeral of the father.

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更新时间：2025-03-15