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Taifu Xie was the horseman of Duke Huan's company. When Duke Huan went to see Xie, Xie was combing his hair and quickly took out his clothes and hat. Duke Huan said, "Why bother with this?" Then they stayed down and talked until nightfall. After he left, he said to his attendants, "Have you ever seen such a person?"
As a son, you must tell your parents when you go out and see them when you come back. Where you go must be regular and what you learn must be disciplined. Never say old. If one is twice as old as his father, he should be served by his father; if one is ten years older than his elder brother, he should be served by his elder brother; if one is five years older than his elder brother, he should be served by his shoulder. When five people live in a group, the elder one must sit at a separate seat.
Someone asked: "What is a cane?" The answer is: bamboo and tung are the same. So for the father, a cane is made of bamboo; for the mother, a cane is made of tung.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Xu Yun was the Minister of Personnel and he employed many people from his hometown. Emperor Ming of Wei therefore sent the Tiger Guards to recruit him. His wife came out and warned Yun, saying, "A wise ruler can take things away with reason, but it is difficult to persuade him with emotion." When Yun arrived, the emperor questioned her. Yun replied, "'Tell me who you know.' I know the people from my hometown. Your Majesty, please check whether they are competent for the job. If not, I will bear the consequences." After the inspection, all the people were appointed to the right positions, so Yun was released. Yun's clothes were worn out, so the emperor ordered him to be given new clothes. At first, when Yun was arrested, the whole family cried. Ruan's new wife said calmly, "Don't worry, he will be back soon." She prepared millet porridge and waited for him, and soon he arrived.
When Liu Qingsun was in the Taifu Mansion, he was framed by many people of the time. Only Yu Zisong was so absorbed in worldly affairs that he had no time to rest. Later, because he was frugal by nature and had a wealthy family, he persuaded the Grand Tutor to exchange it for tens of millions, hoping that the emperor would be stingy and he could take advantage of it. The Grand Tutor asked Yu in front of everyone. Yu was drunk at the time, with his cap falling on the table. He put his head to pick it up and replied slowly, "I have two or three thousand shawls at home. You can take whatever you want." Then he obeyed. Later, someone told Yu about this, and Yu said, "It can be said that one is using the concerns of a villain to judge the heart of a gentleman."
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