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The etiquette of running to the funeral: When you first hear about the death of a relative, you should cry and express your sorrow; when you ask the reason, you should cry and express your sorrow again. Then you should go, and travel a hundred miles a day, not at night. Only when your parents die, you should go when you see the stars, and stop when you see the stars. If you can鈥檛 go, you should wear mourning clothes before going. When you pass through the country, you should stop crying when you have cried. Cry and open the market. When you look at the country, you should cry. When you get home, you should go in the left, ascend from the west steps, lie down in the east, sit facing west, cry and express your sorrow, tie your hair and expose your body, and go down to the east of the hall. The host takes his seat, faces west and cries, dances, and wears a mourning robe in the east of the order, twisting his belt. Return to his seat, bow to the guest, dance, see the guest off, and return to his seat; if there is a guest who arrives later, he bows to him, dances and sees off the guest as before. All the host's brothers go out, and stop crying when they go out; close the door, and the attendant tells them to take their turn. Cry again, pull up the hair and bare the body, dance; cry for the third time, pull up the hair and bare the body again, dance. After three days, complete mourning, bow to the guest and see off the guest as before.
The Duke said, 鈥淢ay I ask what is meant by respecting oneself?鈥 Confucius replied, 鈥淲hen a gentleman speaks too much, the people will make excuses; when he acts too much, the people will make examples. If a gentleman does not speak too much and does not act too much, the people will respect him without being ordered. In this way, he can respect himself; if he can respect himself, he can complete his parents. 鈥漈he Duke said, 鈥淢ay I ask what is meant by completing his parents?鈥 Confucius replied, 鈥淎 gentleman is a name for people. The people call him a son of a gentleman. This is to make their parents become gentlemen, and this is to complete their parents鈥 name!鈥 Confucius then said, 鈥淚n ancient times, the most important thing in governing was to love people. If you cannot love people, you cannot have your body; if you cannot have your body, you cannot be at peace with your land; if you cannot be at peace with your land, you cannot be happy with heaven; if you cannot be happy with heaven, you cannot complete your body.鈥
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