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Prince Jing and Yang Sui were good friends. Sui was a noble and honest man. He was a secretary of the Central Secretariat but died young. The king mourned deeply and said to Dongting: "It is a pity for the country!"
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
During the reign of Emperor Wu of Jin, Xun Xu was the Director of the Secretariat and He Qiao was the Prime Minister. The story tells about the origin of the supervisor and the commander riding in the same car. Jiao was of a noble and upright character, and he always disdained flattery. Later, when the bus came, Qiao got on it and sat forward without waiting. Xu Fanggeng looked for a car and then he was able to leave. From then on, the supervisors and magistrates were each given a carriage.
When Wang Xiaobo died, his head was hung on a big beam. Sima Taifu ordered his carriage to go out to the mark. When he saw the head of the enemy, he asked, "Why are you so anxious? Do you want to kill me?"
Wu invaded Chen, beheaded Si and killed Li, and the army returned. Chen Dazai Pi was sent to the army. Fuchai said to the traveler Yi: "This man is a talkative man. Why don't you ask him? The army must have a name. What do people call this army?" The great prime minister said: "In the past, those who invaded did not cut off the sacrifices, did not kill Li, and did not capture two hairs. Now this army, did they kill Li? Shouldn't they call it the army that killed Li?" He said: "Return your land and return your son, what should we call it?" He said: "The king punished the crime of my city and pardoned it with pity. Does the army have a name?"
Confucius said: "The Way is not far from people. If people practice the Way and distance themselves from others, they cannot be considered the Way. The Book of Songs says: 'Cut the wood, chop the wood, its principle is not far away.' Holding a stick to chop wood, looking at it from a distance, it still seems far away. Therefore, a gentleman governs people by their own way, and stops when he changes. Loyalty and forgiveness are not far from the Way. If you do not want to do it yourself, do not do it to others. There are four ways of a gentleman, and I have not been able to do any of them. What I ask of my son is to serve my father, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my minister is to serve my king, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my younger brother is to serve my elder brother, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my friends is to give them first, but I have not been able to do it. The actions of a mediocre person are cautious; if there is something that is lacking, he dare not not try hard, and if there is something that is more than enough, he dare not use it all; if he speaks, he will act accordingly, and if he acts, he will act accordingly. Why does a gentleman not have to be frank!"
When Duke Huan was young, he was as famous as the Duke of Yin, and they always had a competitive spirit. Huan asked Yin, "How do you compare to me?" Yin said, "I have been dealing with myself for a long time, so I would rather be myself."
In the ceremony of pitching a pot, the host holds the arrow, the shooter holds the target, and someone holds the pot. The host asked, "I have a pot of whistle with crooked arrows. Please use it to entertain the guests." The guest said, "You have delicious wine and delicious food. Since I have given you, and you have also given me more entertainment, I dare not refuse." The host said, "I can't refuse the pot of whistle with crooked arrows. I dare to ask for it." The guest said, "I have given you, and you have also given me more entertainment. I dare not refuse." The host said, "I can't refuse the pot of whistle with crooked arrows. I dare not refuse." The guest said, "I refuse to accept your order. How dare I not obey?" The guest bowed again to accept it. The host returned it and said, "Please." The host bowed on the steps of the east, and the guest returned it and said, "Please." After bowing, he received the arrows, went to the middle of the two pillars, retreated to his seat, and greeted the guests to the banquet.
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