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Bo Gao died in Wei and went to Confucius. Confucius said: "Why should I cry? For my brothers, I cry in the temple; for my father's friends, I cry outside the temple gate; for my teacher, I cry in the bedroom; for my friends, I cry outside the bedroom door; for my acquaintances, I cry in the wild. In the wild, it is already distant; in the bedroom, it is already important. Since You Ci came to see me, I cried to Ci's family." Then he ordered Zigong to be the host and said: "If you come to cry for you, bow to him; if you know that Bo Gao came, don't bow."
The Master said: "The world and the country can be equal, the title and salary can be refused, and the sword can be stepped on, but the middle way is impossible."
Wang Hun's wife, Ms. Zhong, gave birth to a daughter, Lingshu. Wu Zi sought a beautiful and simple match for his sister but failed. There was a military son who was very talented. Wu Zi wanted to marry his sister to him, so he told his mother, "If he is truly talented, I can leave his land to him, but you have to let me see him." Wu Zi then let the soldier's son live with the other children and asked his mother to observe him from behind the curtain. Afterwards, his mother said to Wu Zi, "The one who wears clothes like this, is he the one you wanted to marry?" Wu Zi said, "Yes." His mother said, "This person has the talent to stand out, but the land is cold and he won't live long, so he can't make full use of his talent. Judging from his appearance and bones, he will not live long, so you shouldn't marry him." Wu Zi agreed. Bing'er died a few years later.
Duke Mu asked Zisi, "Is it ancient to return to serve the old monarch?" Zisi said, "In ancient times, gentlemen promoted people with courtesy and dismissed people with courtesy, so there was a ritual of returning to serve the old monarch; today's gentlemen promote people as if they were about to kneel down and dismiss people as if they were about to cross the abyss, and do not act like the head of an enemy, isn't that good! So why is there a ritual of returning to serve?"
When meeting people, he should not remove mourning clothes, even when he goes to the court of the king. Only the government has to pay taxes and wear mourning clothes. It is said: "A gentleman should not take away people's mourning clothes, nor should he take away their mourning clothes." It is said: "If there are many crimes, the punishment should be five times, and if there are many mourning clothes, the mourning clothes should be five times, and the upper and lower should be attached to each other."
Zi Zhang was ill, so he summoned Shen Xiang and said to him: "A gentleman says 'end', a villain says 'death'; I am almost there today!" Zeng Zi said: "The first funeral is held, and the rest is held in the pavilion?" Zeng Zi said: "For small merits, there is no position, it is the etiquette of the alley. When Zi Si cried for his sister-in-law, it was a position, and women danced; when Shen Xiang cried for Si, it was the same."
Duke Xian of Jin died, Duke Mu of Qin sent people to offer condolences to Prince Chong'er, and said, "I have heard that the loss of a country is always here, and the recovery of a country is always here. Although my son is in mourning, the mourning cannot be too long, and the time cannot be lost. You should plan it." He told his uncle Fan, who said, "You should refuse it. A bereaved person has no treasure, but a loving relative is a treasure. What is the point of the father's death? And you think it is profitable, but who in the world can persuade you? You should refuse it." Prince Chong'er said to the guests, "You are kind enough to offer condolences to the deceased minister Chong'er. I lost my father myself, but I cannot cry with you and grieve for you. What is the point of the father's death? If someone dares to have other intentions, it will insult your righteousness." He bowed his head without kneeling, and stood up after crying, but did not hesitate. Zi Xian told Duke Mu of Qin about his death. Duke Mu said, "The benevolent Prince Chong'er! If you bow your head but don't kowtow, you are not yet the heir, so you can't kowtow; if you cry and then get up, you love your father; if you get up without selfishness, you are looking for benefits."
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