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A gentleman practices etiquette and does not seek to change customs. The rituals of sacrifice, mourning clothes, and crying positions are all the same as those of his country. He should carefully revise the laws and implement them carefully. After leaving the country for three generations, the title and salary are listed in the court, and there is an imperial edict to the country when entering and leaving. If brothers and clansmen are still alive, they should report to the clan queen; after leaving the country for three generations, the title and salary are not listed in the court, and there is no imperial edict to the country when entering and leaving. Only on the day of the new country, the law of the new country should be followed. A gentleman does not change his name after he is orphaned. If he becomes noble after being orphaned, he does not give his father a posthumous title. In mourning, before the burial, read the funeral ceremony; after the burial, read the sacrificial ceremony; after the mourning, read the music.
Xie Gong praised Lantian: "Every skin is genuine."
Etiquette begins with respect for husband and wife, and distinguishing the inner and outer parts of the palace. Men live outside, women live inside, and the palace is deep and the gates are strong, with gatekeepers guarding it. Men do not enter, and women do not leave. Men and women do not use the same shackles, dare not hang on the husband's shackles, dare not hide in the husband's box, and dare not bathe together. When the husband is not at home, the pillow, box, mat, and quilt are hidden. The young serve the elder, the humble serve the noble, and everyone is the same. The etiquette of husband and wife only lasts until the age of seventy, and they share the same shackles. Therefore, even if the concubine is old, she must have sex with him for five days before she reaches fifty. The one who is about to give birth to a child, washes his head and washes his clothes carefully, combs his hair, puts on a hairpin, brushes his hair, and wears a collar, tassels, and sandals. Even maids and concubines must dress and eat after the elders. If the wife is not at home, the concubine dare not give birth to a child at night.
During the funeral of Duke Dao, Ji Zhaozi asked Meng Jingzi, "What should the monarch eat?" Jingzi said, "Eating porridge is the most common etiquette in the world. The fact that we three ministers cannot live in the public office has been heard by everyone in the four directions. If I try hard to be poor, then I can do it. Wouldn't it make people suspect that I live in poor conditions without emotion? I will eat."
Yu Zisong's poem He Qiao said: "They are as dense as thousand-foot-high pines. Although they are piled up, they have branches. If they are placed in a building, they can serve as pillars."
When Xi Jiabin died, his attendants told Xi Gong that "his husband has passed away." Upon hearing this, Xi Gong was not sad, but said to his attendants, "We can tell you during the funeral." When Xi Gong went to the funeral, he was so sad that he almost died.
A gentleman knows the reasons why teaching is flourishing and the reasons why teaching is abolished, and then he can be a teacher. Therefore, the gentleman's teaching is to guide but not to force, to force but not to suppress, and to open but not to reach. If you follow the way but don't force it, you will be harmonious; if you are strong but don't suppress it, you will be easy; if you open but don't reach it, you will think; harmony and ease with thinking can be called good metaphor.
Offering sacrifices and offering wine are respectful etiquette. Eating lungs is a ritual. Spitting wine is a ritual. At the end of the feast, it means that this is the main part of the feast, not just for eating and drinking, but for performing rituals. This is why rituals are valued and money is despised. After the cup is finished, it is placed on the west steps, which means that the feast is not just for eating and drinking. This is the meaning of putting rituals first and money second. If rituals are put first and money second, people will be respectful and yield without fighting.
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