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If one is superior to one's elders, one should not ask their age. When meeting a banquet, one should not take orders. When meeting on the road, one should greet the other, but not ask where to go. When attending funerals, one should not express condolences. When serving a gentleman, one should not hold a zither or draw a line on the ground, and one should not move his hands. When sleeping, one should sit and take orders. When serving an archer, one should draw arrows, and when serving a thrower, one should hold arrows. When winning, one should wash and ask for permission, and the same applies to guests. One should not fight or raise a horse. When holding the carriage of the king, one should sit. A servant should wear a sword in his right hand, carry a good rein, extend it to his face, drag the various hats, and let the reins go up, holding the reins before walking. Asking for an audience does not mean asking to leave. In court, one should say "leave", in banquets, one should say "return", and in military service, one should say "stop". When serving a gentleman, if the gentleman yawns, stretches, carries a scepter, cleans the head of the sword, and puts on his shoes, one should ask how early the day is, and even if one asks to leave, one can do so. Those who serve the king should consider before entering, and if not, then consider again; the same applies to those who ask for leave from others and those who work for others. Yes, so the superiors have no resentment, and the subordinates are far from sin. Do not spy on secrets, do not be intimate, do not talk about old times, and do not play with women. As a minister, there is remonstrance without slander, there is loss without anger; praise without flattery, remonstrance without arrogance; if lazy, promote and assist, if abolished, sweep and replace; this is called the service of the state.

When Kong Junping was seriously ill, Yu Sikong was sent to Kuaiji to visit him. He asked him about his condition and even shed tears. After Yu got off the bed, Kong said with a sigh: "A real man is about to die, but instead of asking about the way to keep the country and the family safe, he pretends to be a child and asks!" When Yu heard this, he thanked him and asked him to talk.

Yanling Jizi went to Qi, and on his way back, his eldest son died and was buried between Yingbo. Confucius said, "Yanling Jizi is a person in Wu who is accustomed to etiquette." He went to see his burial. The pit was not deep enough to reach the spring, and he was buried in the seasonal clothes. After the burial, the seal was sealed, and the pit was covered with wide wheels, so that it was high enough to hide. After the enthronement, he exposed his left arm and returned his right arm to the enthronement and cried three times, saying: "Bone flesh and blood return to the earth, it is destiny. As for the soul and spirit, everything will return, everything will return." Then he left. Confucius said: "Yanling Jizi's understanding of etiquette is in accordance with it!"




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