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In the court, talk about etiquette, and answer with etiquette when asked about etiquette. At the grand feast, do not ask for divination, and do not be extravagant.
Zishang did not mourn when his mother died. His disciples asked Zisi, “Did your ancestors mourn their mothers?” He said, “Yes”. “Why did you not let Bai mourn?” Zisi said, “My ancestors did not lose the way; when the way was high, they followed the way; when the way was low, they followed the way. How could Ji do that? Those who marry Ji are Bai’s mother; those who do not marry Ji are not Bai’s mother.” Therefore, the Kong family did not mourn their mothers when their mothers died, starting with Zisi.
Wang Anfeng’s wife, Changqing Anfeng. Anfeng said, "It is disrespectful for a woman to be sweet to her husband according to etiquette. Don't do it again." The woman said, "I love you, so I am sweet to you. If I don't be sweet to you, who will?" So the woman listened to him.
Lord Tao was seriously ill and did not offer any suggestion for a replacement, which the officials in the court thought was resentful. When King Injo heard this, he said, "There are no cunning people at this time, so I will not pass on Mr. Tao's words." The wise men of the time regarded it as a virtuous message.
Huan Xuan went to Yin in Jingzhou. Yin was sleeping during the day in his concubine's room, and his attendants refused to see him. When Queen Huan mentioned this, Yin said, "I didn't sleep at first. Even if there was this, wouldn't it be 'the virtuous can change the color'?"
Du Yu was appointed General Zhennan, and all the court officials arrived and sat on the couches. There was also Pei Shuze at that time. Yang Zhishu arrived later and said, "Du Yuankai is sitting as a guest on the couch again!" He refused to sit down and left. Du asked Pei to chase him, but the sheep stopped their horses after going a few miles, and then they both returned to Duxu.
The etiquette of being a minister: do not make public remonstrances. If you remonstrate three times and he does not listen, then flee.
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