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During the three-year mourning period, one should not speak or answer questions. Lu means in the white room, one should not sit with others. In the white room, one should not enter unless it is the right time to see the mother. The elderly should live in the white room and not in the white room. Lu means strict. Wife should be treated as uncles and aunts, aunts and sisters as brothers, and the eldest, middle and youngest as adults. The mourning period for relatives is exempted, and the mourning period for brothers is exempted. The mother and wife of the king should be treated as brothers. Those who show their color should not eat or drink. Apart from the mourning period, when walking on the road, one should be surprised when seeing someone, and surprised when hearing someone’s name. When visiting the deceased or asking about his illness, one’s color and expression must be different from others. Only after this can one observe the three-year mourning period. The rest should be done in a straightforward manner.
Wang Changshi said: "Liu Yin knows me better than I know myself."
When Ji Wuzi was ill, he went to see him without saying "Qi Sui". He said, "This way of life will soon be lost. Only gentlemen can say Qi Sui in public." Wuzi said, "Isn't that good? Gentlemen should show their modesty." When he was buried, Zeng Dian leaned against his door and sang.
A gentleman has three worries: if he has not heard it, he worries that he will not be able to hear it; if he has heard it, he worries that he will not be able to learn it; if he has learned it, he worries that he will not be able to practice it. A gentleman has five shames: if he is in his position but does not speak the right words, he is ashamed; if he has the right words but does not act the right words, he is ashamed; if he has gained it and then lost it, he is ashamed; if the land is surplus but the people are insufficient, he is ashamed; if the number of people is equal but double, he is ashamed.
Duke Huan was sitting on a military officer's chair, which was filled with scallions, and the chair was not put down from time to time. The people eating with him did not help, but the chair was still held there, and everyone present laughed. Duke Huan said, "We don't even help each other when we are in the same boat, let alone when we are in danger?" He ordered him to be dismissed from office.
Yin Jingzhou once asked Yuan Gong: "What is the essence of Yi?" He replied: "The essence of Yi is sensation." Yin said: "The collapse of Tongshan Mountain in the west and the echo of Lingzhong in the east, is this Yi?" Yuan Gong smiled but did not answer.
Xun Jubo saw his friend sick from afar, when the Hu bandits attacked the county, his friend said to Jubo, "I am dying now, you can go!" Jubo said, "I came from afar to see you, and you asked me to go. It is not the way for Xun Jubo to destroy righteousness to save life?" When the bandits arrived, they said to Jubo, "The army is here, and the whole county is empty. Who are you, a man, and how dare you stay alone?" Jubo said, "My friend is sick, and I cannot bear to leave him. I would rather die with my own body." The bandits said to each other, "We are unrighteous people, and we have entered a righteous country!" So they organized the army and returned, and the whole county was saved.
Zengzi asked, "When the burial leads to the grave, if the sun is eclipsed, will there be changes? Or not?" Confucius said, "In the past, I followed Lao Dan to help with the burial in Xiangdang. When we reached the grave, the sun was eclipsed. Lao Dan said, 'Qiu! Stop the coffin, stand on the right side of the road, stop crying and wait for changes.' After daybreak, he turned back and went on. He said, 'It is the etiquette.' When the burial was reversed, Qiu asked, 'The coffin cannot be reversed. If the sun is eclipsed, how can we go if we don't know how late it will be?' Lao Dan said, 'The princes go to the emperor's court, and leave the sacrifice at the sun; the officials go to the emperor's court, and leave the sacrifice at the sun. The coffin does not leave early and does not stay late. Only criminals and those who go to the funeral of their parents go on the journey when they see the stars! The sun is eclipsed, how do you know that the stars are not visible? Moreover, a gentleman practices etiquette and does not take people's relatives as his concern. 'I heard Lao Dan say this.
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