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The Master said: "Ritual is reason; music is moderation. A gentleman does not move without reason, and does not act without moderation. If he cannot read poetry, he is wrong in etiquette; if he cannot play music, he is simple in etiquette; if he is weak in virtue, he is empty in etiquette. "The Master said, "The system is in the rites, the culture is in the rites, and the practice is up to the people!" Zigong crossed the table and replied, "May I ask: Is Kui poor?" The Master said, "Ancient people? Ancient people. Those who are good at rites but not music are called simple; those who are good at music but not rites are called partial. Kui was good at music but not rites, so he passed down this name. He was an ancient person."
Wang Junfu used rice from a rice pot to cook, and Shi Jilin used candles to cook. Junfu made a purple silk cloth barrier covered with green satin forty li, while Shi Chong made a brocade barrier fifty li to compete with him. Shi used pepper to make mud, and Wang used red ochre to make mud walls.
Youzi asked Zengzi: "Have you asked about funerals, Master?" He said: "I have heard that funerals want to get poor quickly, and death wants to decay quickly." Youzi said: "This is not what a gentleman says." Zengzi said: "Shen heard it from the Master." Youzi said again: "This is not what a gentleman says." Zengzi said: "Shen and Ziyou heard it." Youzi said: "Yes, then the Master said it for a reason." Zengzi told Ziyou this. Ziyou said, "How wonderful! Youzi's words are similar to yours. Once upon a time, when the Master was living in Song, he saw Sima Huan making a stone coffin for himself, which took three years to complete. The Master said, 'If it is so, then it is better to decay quickly than to die.' The desire to decay quickly was what Sima Huan said. When Nangong Jingshu returned, he would bring treasures with him to the court. The Master said, 'If it is so, then it is better to become poor quickly than to be buried.' The desire to become poor quickly was what Jingshu said." Zengzi told him what Ziyou said. When Youzi was talking to Youzi, Youzi said, "Yes, I have always said that this is not what the Master said." Zengzi said, "How do you know this?" Youzi said, "The Master made a four-inch coffin and a five-inch outer coffin in Zhongdu, so he knew that he did not want to decay quickly. In the past, when the Master lost the position of Sikou of Lu and was about to go to Jing, he first asked Zixia and then Ran You, so he knew that he did not want to become poor quickly."
Therefore, the teaching of ritual is subtle, and it can stop evil before it takes shape, making people move towards good and stay away from crimes without knowing it. That is why the ancient kings respected it. The Book of Changes says: "A gentleman should be cautious at the beginning, and the error of a millimeter will lead to a thousand miles." This is what it means.
In the funeral of a king, if there is no small burial, he will leave as a guest of the duke; in the funeral of an official, if there is no small burial, he will leave at the order of the king; in the funeral of a scholar, he will leave without burial for an official. Whenever the host leaves, he goes barefoot, with his hem tied to his waist and his heart beat, and descends from the west steps. The king bows to the guest of state and the minister of honor at his seat; the minister, at the king's order, meets him outside the bedroom door; the messenger goes up to the hall to tell the death, and the host bows below; the scholar cries with the minister in person; he does not go against the door, the lady goes out for the lady of the king, the lady goes out for the lady's order, and the scholar's wife should not be buried, so the lady goes out.
When Xu Yuan was young, people compared him to Wang Gouzi, which made Xu very upset. At that time, many people and Master Yu were giving lectures at the West Temple in Kuaiji, and the king was also there. Xu Yi was very angry, so he went to the West Temple to discuss the pros and cons with Wang. The king was deeply humiliated after being so frustrated. Xu Fu held Wang's position, and Wang held Xu's position, and they exchanged letters with each other; Wang was again submissive. Xu said to Master Zhi: "What did your disciple say just now?" Zhi said calmly: "Your words are good, but why do you have to be so bitter? This is not a talk about seeking the truth!"
Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
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