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One night surprise: Mr. Gu, endless pampering

In the first month of summer, the sun is in Bi, the sun sets in Yizhong, and the sun rises in Wunuzhong. The days are Bing and Ding. Its emperor is Yandi, and its god is Zhurong. Its insect is feather. Its note is Zheng, and its rhythm is Zhonglü. Its number is seven. Its taste is bitter, and its smell is burnt. Its offering is to the stove god, and its lung is sacrificed. Crickets chirp, earthworms come out, king melons grow, and bitter herbs bloom. The emperor lives in the left side of the Mingtang, rides on a red road, drives a red horse, carries a red flag, wears a red robe, and wears red jade. He eats beans and chickens, and his utensils are high and rough.

The Golden Lawyer's Favorite

Huan Xuan asked Liu Taichang, "How am I compared to Xie Taifu?" Liu replied, "You are noble, while Taifu is profound." He asked again, "How am I compared to my virtuous uncle Zijing?" Liu replied, "Hawthorn, pear, orange, and grapefruit each have their own merits."

Sorry, I got the wrong person.

Wang Zhongzu was confused when he heard the barbarian language and said, "If Jie Gelu came to the court, he would not be ignorant of this."

Super Pastor's Wife

The God of Heaven

When the princes send out their wives, the wives will come to their country with the etiquette of wives; when they arrive, they will enter with wives. The messenger was about to order, saying, "My lord is incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I have sent my envoy to report this to the steward." The host replied, "My lord has already refused to teach me before. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The officials laid out the utensils; the host's officials also received them. When the wife left, the husband sent someone to bring her back, saying, "I am incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The host replied, "My son is unfilial. I dare not avoid punishment. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The messenger withdrew, and the host bowed to see him off. If the uncle is alive, he should be called uncle; if the uncle is dead, he should be called brother; if there is no brother, he should be called husband. The host's resignation was, "My son is unfilial." If they were aunts or sisters, they would also be called.

I can cure all diseases

Liu Ling was drunk and very thirsty, so he asked his wife for wine. The woman threw away the wine and destroyed the utensils, and wept and advised, "You drink too much. It is not the way to keep healthy. You must stop drinking!" The actor said, "Very good. I cannot control myself. I can only pray to the gods and ghosts and swear to stop. Now you can prepare the wine and meat." The woman said, "I respectfully obey your command." She offered wine and meat to the gods and asked the actor to swear. Ling knelt down and made a wish, "Liu Ling was born with wine as his name. I can drink one hu of wine at a time, and five dou of wine will sober me up. Don't listen to women's words." He then served wine and meat, and he was already drunk.