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When marrying a wife, one should not marry someone with the same surname as her. Therefore, if one buys a concubine but does not know her surname, one should consult the divination. If a widow's son has no opinion on him, he should not be friends with him.
Therefore, in ancient times, the emperor had a system that the princes offered tribute to the emperor every year, and the emperor tested them in the archery palace. Their appearance was comparable to the ritual, and their etiquette was comparable to the music. If they hit the target more, they could participate in the sacrifice. If their appearance was not comparable to the ritual, and their etiquette was not comparable to the music, and they hit the target less, they could not participate in the sacrifice. If they participated in the sacrifice more, the king would celebrate; if they did not participate in the sacrifice, the king would give way. If there were celebrations, the land would be increased; if there were ways of giving way, the land would be reduced. Therefore, it is said: Archery is for the princes. Therefore, the princes, the rulers and the ministers devote their efforts to archery to learn rituals and music. There has never been a ruler and the ministers who practiced rituals and music and then went into exile.
Duke Xi amassed a fortune of tens of millions. The guests had different opinions and often asked about it in the morning. Xi family rule: Children and grandchildren are not allowed to sit. As the conversation progressed, the subject turned to money and property. Xi Gong said, "You just want to get my money!" So he opened the treasury for one day and allowed the money to be used as desired. Xi Gongshi Zheng said that the loss was about several million. The distinguished guest then begged his relatives and friends for help that day and the matter was basically resolved. When Duke Xi heard this, he was so shocked and surprised that he could not stop.
Confucians are knowledgeable but not exhausted, and they practice diligently but not tired; they live in seclusion but not licentious, and they are connected with their superiors but not in trouble; they value harmony in etiquette, the beauty of loyalty and trustworthiness, and the law of leisure. They promote the virtuous and tolerate the masses, and criticize the square and unite the tiles. Their generosity is like this.
When Kong Wenju was ten years old, he went to Luo with his father. At that time, Li Yuanli was famous and served as the Inspector of the Capital Region. Only those with outstanding talents and reputation, as well as those who were his cousins, were allowed to visit him. When Wen Ju arrived at the gate, he said to the clerk, "I am the relative of Lord Li." After being let in, he sat down in front. Yuanli asked, "What is the relationship between you and me?" He replied, "In the past, my ancestor Confucius and your ancestor Boyang had a teacher-student relationship. So you and I have been friends for generations." Yuanli and the guests were all surprised. When Taizhong Daifu Chen Wei arrived later, people told him the same words. Wei said, “A child who is very smart when he is young may not be a good person when he grows up!” Wen Ju said, “I think you must have been very smart when you were young!” Wei was very embarrassed.
Prime Minister Wang was frugal, and there were delicious fruits under his tent, which were always abundant. When the spring came, the army was rotten and the governor reported it to the emperor, who ordered them to leave. He said, "Be careful not to let Dalang know."
Offering sacrifices and offering wine are respectful etiquette. Eating lungs is a ritual. Spitting wine is a ritual. At the end of the feast, it means that this is the main part of the feast, not just for eating and drinking, but for performing rituals. This is why rituals are valued and money is despised. After the cup is finished, it is placed on the west steps, which means that the feast is not just for eating and drinking. This is the meaning of putting rituals first and money second. If rituals are put first and money second, people will be respectful and yield without fighting.
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