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Zhuge Liang was in Wu and attended a meeting in the court. Sun Hao asked: "Your name is Zhongsi, what do you think about?" He replied: "At home, I think about filial piety; when I serve my lord, I think about loyalty; when I am with my friends, I think about trustworthiness. That's all."
When Huan Nanjun was a child, he and his brothers raised geese and fought together. The geese in Nanjun were always inferior to him, and he was very angry. That night he went to the goose pen, took all the brothers' geese and killed them. At dawn, all the family members were frightened, thinking it was a strange thing, and they rode in a white carriage. The cavalry said, "There is nothing to be surprised about. It must be a joke from Nanjun!" When asked, it turned out to be true.
Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
Kong Wenju had two sons, the elder one was six years old and the younger one was five years old. While his father was sleeping during the day, the younger one would steal wine from the bedside and drink it. The eldest son asked, "Why don't you bow?" He replied, "I stole, so how can I bow?"
Huan Shiqian was the eldest son of Sikong Huo. The nickname is Zhen E. When he was seventeen or eighteen years old, he had not been promoted yet, but the young servants already called him "Zhen'e Lang". He once lived in Xuanwuzhaitou. During the expedition to Fangtou, the chariots and cavalry overwhelmed the enemy, and no one on the left or right was able to rescue them. Xuanwu said to him, "Did you know that your uncle fell into the hands of the bandits?" Shi Qian was very excited when he heard this. He ordered Zhu Pi to be his deputy, and he rode his horse among tens of thousands of people. No one could resist him, and he rushed back directly, which impressed the three armies. Later, Heshuo used this name to cure malaria.
A gentleman is one who is well-informed, strong in knowledge, and humble, and who is kind and not lazy. A gentleman does not exhaust people's favors or exhaust people's loyalty, but maintains friendship.
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