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Confucians cleanse themselves and bathe in virtue, they keep their words to themselves, they are calm and correct, and their superiors do not know; they are rough and arrogant, and they do not rush to do things; they do not think they are high when they are deep, and they do not think they are much when they add a little; they do not despise the world in peace, and they do not get discouraged when the world is in chaos; they do not agree with the same, and they do not criticize the different. They are like this in their uniqueness.
Taifu Xie was the horseman of Duke Huan's company. When Duke Huan went to see Xie, Xie was combing his hair and quickly took out his clothes and hat. Duke Huan said, "Why bother with this?" Then they stayed down and talked until nightfall. After he left, he said to his attendants, "Have you ever seen such a person?"
The people of Wei believed that turtles were knowledgeable. Chen Ziche died in Wei. His wife and her family's senior officials planned to bury him alive with her. After the plan was finalized, Chen Zikang arrived and told her, "My master is ill and there is no one to take care of him. Please bury him alive with me." Zikang said, "Burying him alive with me is not a courtesy. Even if I do, who should take care of him like my wife and the prime minister? If I have to, I will do it. If I have to, I will let my two sons do it." So he did not do it.
Shangshu Wang Hui once visited Wang Youjun's wife and asked, "Do you feel bad about your eyes and ears?" She replied, "White hair and falling teeth belong to the body; as for the eyes and ears, they are related to the spirit, can they be separated from people?"
After Su Zigao's incident was settled, Lords Wang and Yu wanted to appoint Kong Tingwei as the governor of Danyang. After the chaos, the people were in poverty. Kong said with a sigh, "When Emperor Suzong was dying, you all personally ascended the imperial bed and were recognized by him, and followed his will. I am a distant and lowly person, and I am not among those who were there to take charge of the affairs of the state. When times were tough, you put me first. Now I am just rotten meat on the table, waiting to be chopped up by anyone!" Then he left, and the other gentlemen also stopped.
Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
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