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Those who are worried sit on the side, and those who are mourning sit on their own seat.
Therefore, only after the behaviors of filial piety, brotherhood, loyalty and obedience are established, can one be a man; only after being a man can one govern others. Therefore, the sage kings valued etiquette. Therefore, it is said that the cap is the beginning of etiquette and the most important thing for good things. Therefore, the ancients valued the cap; the cap was performed in the temple; the temple was performed to respect things; respect things and dare not take the initiative to do things; do not take the initiative to do things, so they humble themselves and respect the ancestors.
When Taifu He was the governor of Wu County, he did not go out at first. The powerful families in Wu looked down on him, so they wrote on the gate of the government office: "The chicken of Kuaiji cannot crow." When He heard the news, he left home, looked back at the gate, asked for a pen and wrote: "It cannot crow, kill the Wu child!" Then he went to the various military camps and inspected the various Gu, Lu, and military officials, as well as the hiding and fugitives, and reported everything to the emperor, who punished many people. Lu Kang was the governor of Jiangling at the time, so he petitioned Sun Hao and was released.
Yan Ding was good at mourning: when he died, he was anxious as if he wanted to find it but couldn't get it; when he was buried, he looked around as if he wanted to follow but couldn't reach it; after the burial, he sighed as if he couldn't reach it and stopped.
When Wang Zijing and his brothers met Duke Xi, they tiptoed to ask for his advice and were very polite to outsiders. When the guests died, they all wore chopsticks and high sandals, and had a disrespectful demeanor. When they were ordered to sit down, they all said, "We are busy and have no time to sit down." After they left, Xi Gong said with deep emotion, "If the distinguished guests were still alive, how dare you rats do this!"
When Duke Zhuang of Lu was buried, the coffin was not brought into the storehouse. After the scholars and officials finished crying, the hemp was not brought in.
The way of the gentleman is expensive and hidden. The foolishness of a husband and wife can be understood, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not know it. The unworthy husband and wife can do something, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not be able to do it. The universe is so big, but people still have something to regret. Therefore, when a gentleman speaks big, no one in the world can contain it; when he speaks small, no one in the world can break it. The Book of Songs says, "The kite flies to the sky, and the fish leaps in the deep." It means that he is observant of everything. The way of a gentleman starts with husband and wife, and when it reaches the extreme, he observes the universe.
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