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Zishang did not mourn when his mother died. His disciples asked Zisi, Did your ancestors mourn their mothers? He said, Yes. Why did you not let Bai mourn? Zisi said, My ancestors did not lose the way; when the way was high, they followed the way; when the way was low, they followed the way. How could Ji do that? Those who marry Ji are Bais mother; those who do not marry Ji are not Bais mother. Therefore, the Kong family did not mourn their mothers when their mothers died, starting with Zisi.
In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
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